The question that I get asked a lot is “So when are you getting married and having babies??” My question is: Why are you so concerned with my marital status and Uterus?!?!?! Why does it matter. Can’t you embrace my singleness with me?? Do I look like I need a man and a kid? I watch kids for a living so I am really not in a rush to have my own. Then I get “But you are getting older” Ok and your point?!? Let me be happy embracing my fun, no attachment life!!! I am at a point in my life where I am really not trying to please anyone. I am FINALLY at a point where I think “You know what?? This isn’t so bad” Sure all of my friends who are my age and YOUNGER are happily married with 1.5 kids or 2.5 or whatever. Sure they get to netflix and chill(the for real chill) on a regular. Sure they have someone to ask “Hey babe how was your day?” Sure they just have someone there. BUT I can guaran-damn-tee that they don’t get to sleep star fish style in bed surrounded by ALLLLL the pillows. I bet they don’t get to just get to go out on a whim just because “To hell with it I want to!!!” Did I mention sleeping starfish style with all the pillows already?? I’m sorry but that is a HUGE selling point in my “Great being single booklet” Do I want to get married? Yes. I’m not going to rush it though. When the time is right it will be right. Do I want kids? Sure… wait… As long as its before Im 36. I don’t want to be an old ass mom. I want to be able to keep up with my kids without throwing my back out every 15 minutes. (For those of you who were older when you had kids; MORE POWER TO YOU. Its not me though). If you want me to get married and have kids so badly then why don’t you hop on the “TEAM SINGLE IN BROOKLYN” bandwagon and find me a great guy?? (Please consult with me first so I can give you a list of what I am looking for mmmk?? Thanks)
Today is one of those days when being an adult is TOTALLY overrated.
Today was a decent day. It wasn’t super stellar but it wasn’t craptastic either. To end my day on a high note, I hit the gym. I like working out but I HATE the treadmill. Hate is a strong word. You should never hate anything but I.HATE.THE.TREADMILL… Point.Blank.Period. It is the dullest thing on the planet Earth!!! How people run on that damn thing for longer than 30 minutes beats the hell out of me. I would rather watch paint dry than run on a treadmill. Today I pushed myself and listened to my Pastors podcast. That got me to 20 minutes. I walked five at no incline. Sped up the pace to a fast walk at a 6 incline and then I pumped it up to a 15 incline and put my pace up to a super fast “granny walking with her walk group in the mall” fast. The last 5 minutes was cool down. While going through this torture, my pastors sermon had me totally engaged!!! LOVE #crossroadstx. 2o minutes of treadmill is all I could take but the important thing here is that I lasted a whopping 20 minutes on a machine that I have NO love for. The treadmill probably doesn’t love me either and I am FINE with that.
“Diamonds are a girls best friend” Uhhhh who came up with that bullcrap?!?!?! Let me be the first to say it’s a LIE!! You know what my best friends are?? Donuts… Donuts and cheeseburgers. Those two right there are my HOMIES for LIFE!!! We have this place here called DOUGH. Dough has donuts that will make you throat punch yo momma! They are THAT GOOD!!! You want to win me over?? Buy me a lemon poppy or cheesecake donut from Dough. If you really want to melt my heart, buy me donuts for breakfast and then for dinner skip over to shake shack and grab me a cheeseburger with a side order of cheese fries. It won’t get you laid or anything BUT it will give you more than one date. Its just THAT.SIMPLE.
As most of you know I am really into OCR (Obstacle Course Racing). I started in 2008 with the Warrior Dash and haven’t stopped. Its addicting. The weird thing is that I hate running.I.HATE.IT!!!!! I am slower than a snail sleeping in chunky peanut butter. I DO NOT have the drive to run over 5 miles. Why?? My attention span is short. After mile 5 I have mentally checked out. Busta Rhymes and Kris Kross are no longer motivating me to “Give me some mo” or “Jump Jump”. OCR is sort of different though. It’s anywhere from 3 to over 15 miles of running BUT there are fun stupid crazy obstacles that break up the monotony of my feet hitting the pavement. By the time I am ready to start looking at butterflies and 4 leaf clovers, an obstacle is there for me to overcome. It could be a mud pit, hurdling over a wall, hurdles, barbed wire, ANYTHING!! I have done warrior dash, Original Mud run, Spartan races, and foam runs. And this year I am adding a ragnar ( I think thats how you spell it) relay to my check off list. Next weekend my OCR season starts up again and it starts with where my journey first began… Warrior Dash. Im excited because I am running with a good friend of mine. This year I have to cut back on the amount of races that I do due to trying to budget… HOWEVER if I find discount codes or deals its GAME OVER!!!! I cuss and curse the creators of these damn races the entire time I am running but when I cross that finish line I have such a sense of accomplishment that I immediately hit my laptop to register for more. These races also keep me from blowing up like the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. You all know I like to eat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up 3 hours after you got home like you slept a full 8 hours. I made it home close to 4am and woke up at 7a. I looked at my watch like “Oh hell no. Going back to sleep” On top of that it felt like I had an army of tap dancers and krumpers busting a move in my head. All I could do was lay on my back with my eyes closed and think about what caused it. Lets rewind shall we:
It all started when a certain awesome Spartan created this EPIC event for all of us to get together and have a great time. That lead to me needing to find a dress and shoes. After depressing weeks of dress and shoe shopping; I found the perfect outfit and I must say I was FIYA last night… At least until my toes started hurting ,and then I had to put the FIYA out with a pair of flats. My fro stopped disrespecting me (Natural girl hair struggle) and my makeup was on point (toss up between red lips or just plain gloss… Gloss won)
After I got all PURTY and stopped for dinner and drinks I got to meet up with my EPIC SUPER FLY running Spartans. This is why my group is AWESOME:
- We roll anywhere from 30-50 deep when we plan a night out
- We are all out for the same thing: To have a night where we are not worried about training, or racing. A night where we can cut loose, laugh, dance, and just have an all around great time.
- Repeat 1 and 2.
To say that last night was EPIC is a total understatement. We danced, we laughed, we danced some more, we sang… even if we didn’t know the words or what the dj was saying (that would be me). There were old friends and new friends and I can’t tell you how happy I am to be a part of such a wonderful family.
This is just a small FRACTION of the gang. This is just a TINY piece of the wondful fun filled night
Here is the deal. We are FAMILY! We come in different shapes, sizes, ethnicities, religions, etc… None of that matters. All that matters is that we are all brothers and sisters. We are all in love with the same crazy sport and I promise you I have never been around a more uplifting positive group of people. So to my Spartan brothers and sisters: You are the best group of lazy slackers a girl could ask for. We work hard, we play hard and we love harder. This group of people right here is why I woke up with a killer headache and a smile. This group is why I needed two aspirin and allergy meds this morning and it was SO WORTH IT!!
On a side note: Check this out. Legs for DAYS!!!!
Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Don’t fart.Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Don’t fart
Yes this is what I was telling myself during my massage. She pushed in on my lower back and I was like “uhh ohhhh”