I am pretty close with all of my family… for the most part. I am closer to my moms side of the family than my dads side. I have lost a lot of people in my life but none hit me harder than when I lost my Uncle Dwight, my Uncle Allon and then my Grandmothers. I saw my uncle Dwight fight cancer until God said “You don’t have to fight anymore.” I remember sitting in my room Sobbing as my best friend hugged me tight. I cried all day. I was in the 10th grade. I remember when my mom would go visit and I couldn’t make it I would tell her “Tell him I love him and I will see him soon” This one day she came back and said “I couldn’t tell him. He passed Khrys.” I crumpled right there. My best friend Nori sat with me while I cried. I cried all day. Every time I would look at someone, I would just break down.He wanted to teach me how to drive and it sucks because he never got to. My uncle Dwight was awesome and he had the best smile. When he smiled, he smiled with his whole face and it just lit everything up. My Uncle Allon was one of a kind man. No one could come close to being like my Uncle Allon. He was cool… Like Chester Cheetah cool!!! He had a walk and talk that would make you say something like “Thats a jive turkey right there” He was that cool. He was thin and had long curly hair for as long as I could remember. He could give a rats behind what anyone thought of him. He used to pick me up from school in the biggest ugliest hoopties and I hated it… but I loved my Uncle Allon. I would say “Can you pick me up in the nice car?” and he would say “Did you need a ride? Then you ride in what I pick you up in” BWAHAHAHA. He always called me “Slim or Red (red tone to my skin)” When I found out he had cancer I was so broken up but I just KNEW that he would be it. He fought long and hard. I think he raised more hell during his battle than without it. HA!!! He always encouraged me to do what made me happy. To quit listening to the outside voices and listen to the spirit. “Whats been put on your heart baby? Then thats what you do. Fuck everyone else damnit. God Damnit do for you not them” When God finally told him that he didn’t have to fight anymore, I was in Italy. A job that I wouldn’t have taken if he hadn’t encouraged me to listen to the spirit. I sat in my room and sobbed until my eyes hurt. I caught the first flight out that I could, said “Screw you job because I need to get home”, and flew for damn near 24 hours straight because I had so many connections” When I got home I found out that my Grandmothers had passed a day after my Uncle Allon. Talk about a kick to the face. Grandmothers… Words cannot describe how awesome of a woman she was. I would have to type a whole other blog to talk about all she was about. She had the best laugh because it came all the way from her belly. She was beautiful even in old age. She was soft spoken but firm. I remember when I wanted to start dating she said “Now I don’t care who you bring home. But if your bring home a white boy… Just make sure he does’t have blonde hair or blue eyes.” I was so confused. She also said “Always look at the shoes and the teeth. If they have jacked up shoes then that means they have jacked up teeth.” Wait… WHAT?!?!?! But to this very day I take her advice. She was really random sometimes, could cuss like a sailor, chain smoke a pack a cigarettes like the world was coming to an end and would never smoke again, and could insult you in the most monotone voice and then crack herself up. She loved red. Red lipstick and red fingernails were her go to when she wanted to be fancy. At her retirement home they used to have valentines parties for them. My mom went over to help her get ready. My mom put her hair in a pretty bun, pained her nails, did her lipstick and was helping her get dressed when my Grandmothers said “I don’t want to wear those panties.” Meaning her depends. My mom said “Oh yes ma’am. You are wearing these.” My Grandmothers said “They make my booty look big.” My mom was like “Either your booty is going to look big or pissy. You pick” My grandmother chose the big booty. I miss them so much. I know they are still with me though. I know when my Grandmother is watching over me because I will dream about her or something will remind me over her and I can feel her presence. My uncles come in and out. They watch over me, I can sense when they are with me because again something random will bring them to mind and make me smile.