I am going on 35 and I am STILL single. Its the same ole story but just a different point in time. I have been single for 4 LONG years. Most of the times I do not mind and ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT and then there are times when I am like “This sucks!!!” I figured by now I would AT LEAST be in a steady relationship. I figured by now I would MAYBE be engaged?? I figured by this point that there MIGHT be someone in my life… besides me and work. But NOPE. Then I have to wonder. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Am I giving the wrong vibe?? Am I being TOOOOOO picky?? I’m not a bad person, I love Jesus, I am somewhat athletic, Im tall, funny when I want to be, sarcastic, stable, not mental and have a great career. Im educated and love to read and LOVE music. Im adventurous, LOVE all things food and I would like to think that I have a good great big heart. Why am I still single?
Here is the deal. I never really thought about it until like the last year or so. I never had an issue. But its like when you hit 34 everyone expects you to be in a relationship or married or have kids ANYTHING but being alone because for some reason you are not normal if you are 34/35 and alone. Now everyone is like “You should be dating. You need to get married. 35 is your year!!! Is it?? Is it really?? If I am honest… I thought 27 ,28,29 and 30 were going to be my year and we see how those years went. I have done more in my time while being single then I have ever done when I was dating. Granted I have only had 2 boyfriends but whatever. Am I picky?? HELL YES!! You have to be these days!!! I can’t just give myself to ANYONE!! I figured MAYBE I would meet someone through racing because there are hot guys EVERYWHERE and they are half naked… But they are all TAKEN!!! FREAKING REALLY?!?!?! All these yummy men and not ONE of you is single?!?!?! **throws hands in the air** I have done every dating app, every website and was even in a few OCR single groups on Facebook… I’m STILL single
I think I am just letting everyones words get to me. Everyone has these expectations of where I should be and what I should be doing but in all honesty… Their expectations and opinions DO NOT matter. I have to continue to live my life for me. I have to continue to do me and be happy. My day will come soon enough and if it doesn’t… Then I am totally ok with that. I am totally fine with being the super cool granny in the nursing home sporting a purple velour track suit ER’DAY with my bedazzled hat, light up wheels on my walker, and glitter SAS shoes. Everyone will say “Watch out for lil granny over there… She will grab your booty and not think twice about it.” HA!!!
Well that does it kiddos. I have officially been in NYC for 2 years!!! I still love it here!! In a few weeks I will be 35… OH MAH GAH!! My mom asked me how I feel about where I am in life. I feel good. I know I could be doing WAY better in certain parts of my life but I have basically just been LIVING. It took me years to LIVE… I mean really LIVE and I AM LOVING IT. I remember in my teens and early twenties I figured I would be married with a high powered career and NO kids by now. I was going to be a doctor living in NYC and at the top of my game. Lets fast forward shall we. I am going on 35… I am not a doctor, I am not married nor have I ever really been in love. I have accomplished two things on that list
I live in NY
I don’t have kids
I am happy though. I do not ask for much. I am a fairly simple person and I am ok with that. I have been blessed with an amazing career as a nanny. I have been blessed with a few great friends (thats all you really need). I have been blessed with health. I have discovered that I am semi athletic and from someone who was NOT athletic growing up that is AWESOME. I love the woman that I have become and I still have room to grow spiritually, mentally, and financially. I think the only thing that nags me every once in a while is that fact that I am STILL single. I LOVE being single but I have my moments when I wouldn’t mind sharing ONE pillow with someone else. Yesterday while driving 3 hours to Charolette I was listening to Esperanza Spalding (LOVE HER) and I was totally relaxed. Out of nowhere I thought. “I would love to one day just be able to curl up with my boyfriend/fiancee/husband on the couch, listen to jazz and talk music all day.” I figure right now God is still working on me. He is not going to give something that I am not totally ready for. I am ok with that. I am ok with continuing to learn and grow and figure things out. I am ok with walking around the city and taking everything in that I can because I know one day is going to be the day when I have to give up my single, bed hogging, not sharing takeout, no hair combing, spread eagle bed days. The day is coming when I have to give all of that up **sheds thug tears** 2 years in NYC and going on 35… Man I can’t wait to see what this year holds for me.
This entire weekend was nothing but PURE MAGIC. That is the only way that I can describe it. What made that magic?? LOVE… Pure LOVE and it was the best thing ever!!! I already told you about Friday… or a little bit about it but Saturday was the day of all days. It was one of the best days EVER and it wasn’t even my day!!!! Saturday was a celebration for Callie and Jeremy. These are two of the sweetest people that have ever walked the face of the Earth. The wedding was held in the MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOWHERE and it was totally worth the drive and fear of getting lost. The ceremony was all Jeremy. It was like formal camping. That means we were all in formal wear but sitting on blankets, bales of hay, and ground. There was a canvas tent off to the side (for the bride to emerge from) and it was a GLORIOUS day… and I sobbed through it all.(It was that amazing) The reception was Callie. It was cute, quirky and spelled HAPPINESS. The colored cloth streamers, the antique dishes and twinkle lights were all Callie and it was AMAZING. This wedding was basically the wedding of all weddings. There was enough pie to feed 6000 starving people. There was BBQ and then there was my favorite… SMORES (church faint)!!!! There was bluegrass music, there was square dancing and there was laughter and LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! Yesterday was PURE MAGIC and I am so happy that I was able to be a part of it. It was also the day that made me say “damn it I’m single!!” **wipes tears** Their wedding was so good that it made me wish that I wasn’t single!!! SAY WHAT?!?!?!?! YES you read that right. Yesterday for me was a day of new friendships, old friendships and connecting. Jeremy and Ben were my first two real friends at the Kirby in Dallas. We were part of the original Kirby Crew. We were all different and weird in our own ways but thats what made the friendship AWESOME!!! Now they are both married to amazing women and I couldn’t be happier for them. SOMEONE SNATCH ME UP QUICK!!! I have some catching up to do!!!!
Friday and a TINY piece of Saturday 😀
View from my room.
Woke up and went to breakfast and my server left this for me on my ticket
The awesome CALLIE!! Yes we were both GONE by this point.
Awesome bar with super awesome STRONG beer!!! Yeh I was a sheet to the wind by this point… THATS JEREMY IN THE MIDDLE
LETS GO!!!! Its time to see my awesome friend get married!!!
Saturday Wedding bliss
Is this not the MOST AMAZING set up EVER?!?!?!??!
Does this not say happiness???
Ohhhhhh say can you seeeeeeeeee
LOVE LOVE LOVE
I never wanted this weekend to end!!! I am so happy for my friends. I am so happy for what their future holds. I am so happy for the adventures that they are about to take together. I am SOOOO happy that they were blessed to find each other.
OAN: I was not driving during the pictures. I made sure that I was parked. If no one was behind me YES I would pull over and snap away
My friend is getting married and I was able to fly out to be here for it!!! Wedding isn’t until 3 today so I have some time to blow. What am I doing?? Sitting on my hotel patio looking at the amazing golf course surrounded by mountains. I have heard birds scream and sing, squirrels chirp and chatter and all the other Disney woodland creatures that decided to come out. Its a freaking GORGEOUS day. Lets rewind to yesterday shall we??
It was a 2.5 hour flight. It was a FULL flight and there was a kid behind me that screamed and played in the lavatory water the entire trip!!! Even with my earbuds, music blasting and my mild comatose state… I could still hear that little weasel wrecking havoc!! Then we had to sit on the runway for like 20 minutes because a plane was still at our gate. THEN it was taking people FOREVER to get off the said plane!! My nerves were SHOT!!! It was super easy to get my rental car and head out which was a huge plus. Downside to that was that it DOWN POURED and I forgot my glasses. We all know I can not see when its raining. Im screwed if its dark and raining. MC Hammer and Bel Biv Devoe were my friends the entire 3 hours that I drove. Pandora didn’t fail me either. Juvenile came on and I had flash back to freshman year at HPU and literally lost my ever loving mind for 3 minutes. I danced my ass off while FLYING down the interstate. I actually think I worked up a sweat. The best part was getting to see my great friend Jeremy. I haven’t seen him in like almost 3 years and it was like the original Kirby Crew had reunited again because then I saw Ben. These two were my Kirby Road dawgs and always will be. So much laughter and fun with these two. Then I got to meet Jeremy’s bride to be… For me to say that she is the sweetest person that I have ever met is a total understatement. She is AMAZING and just a ray of sunshine. They are literally like peas and carrots. So I met everyone at the bar… then we drove for what seemed like FOREVER to the cabins. The cabins were awesome however they were in the MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOWHERE and there was no cell reception and there was alcohol involved which meant I had to sit for an extra hour to sober up because you got me messed up if you think Im driving through the woods… in the dark… without my glasses and drunk. HELL NO!!! Going to and from the cabins was like road trip #2 and yes pandora had me going for that trip too. The Rob Base station is THE BOMB!!! I think music is the best part about road tripping… That and the ridiculous amounts of junk food that you consume. I love riding with the windows down, music loud and singing at the top of my lungs. The views always blow my mind!!! Today I have to drive to another secluded wooded area for the ceremony and reception and I CANT WAIT!!! If last nigh was the prequel to what is going on tonight… ITS GOING TO BE EPIC!!!!!! The fro is going to picked out to the MAX for this y’all. Pics coming later
I know the title makes you raise an eyebrow but just hear me out… or more like read me out. HA!! I am a nanny. I LOVE being a nanny. It is probably one of the best careers ever. I basically play all day. Yes I clean up and cook but 90% of my day is on a toddler level. The other day I was playing with my charge and this thought came to me: Toddlers are like tiny drunk people. Think about it:
The silliest things will have them cracking up for what seems like HOURS. For example. My little guy had fun turning in circles until he couldn’t see straight and then running and face planting into the couch. He seriously did this for about 15 minutes. Im surprised he didn’t throw up. My stomach was churning just watching him spin. ( I get motion sickness).
They tell you the same thing 300 times!!! Its like a broken record for real.
They are super stubborn and do NOT want to listen to reason
INDECISIVE!!!! Ex: I want to eat!!! NOOOOO I don’t want it. I want it. NOOOO I don’t want it.”
When they do not want to be helped or held or are pitching a fit… They do the limp noodle thing where 25 pounds turns into an instead 200 pounds of toddler. WTH?!?!?! How do they do that!?!?!
They can’t walk a straight line to save their lives
I have been feeling a little under the weather for the past two days. Yesterday I was almost taken out. I had to sit in the middle of Union Square train station with my head between my knees… yeh I was that sick. I don’t know what the hell hit me but whatever it was almost took me out for real. I have been in bed all day. I got out of bed to pee, grab my takeout, do dishes and thats it. Wait… I had to go buy toilet paper but other than that, I have been in my bed. I have not brushed my teeth, combed my hair or showered. I have done NOTHING!! What did I do while in bed?? I downloaded music for my running mix. The two songs I added: Too Legit to Quit and Poison. What is it about Hammer and BBD to get the groove going?? So for the past 30 minutes I have been sitting in my bed having my own little dance break. Not just any dance break but 80s/ 90s dance break. Thats right people the whop, running man, roger rabbit, Freddie Kruger, Snake,cabbage patch, and every other awesome dance that ever came out in the 90s. I danced hard y’all. Even though I am not feeling 100% there is something about music that will bring energy from nowhere and have you JAMMIN!!! There is a guy out there that will appreciate this right?? I can’t do todays dances to save my life but if you throw me back in the 80s and early 90s… I got that on LOCK!!!! There is a great guy out there that will appreciate this right?? HA!!! **Goes back to dancing**
I made it back from Texas and my body clock is all kinds of out of whack. I am so damn happy its a 3 day work week. Do you know what I am doing tomorrow when I get home from work??? NOT A DAMN THING!!! I am not turning on my laptop, I am not reading, I am not turning on my music. I AM going to turn on my fan. I am going to shower. I AM going to pop two bendadryl and then IM.GOING.TO.SLEEP!!! Thats right people… My bed is calling my name and LOUD!!! You know you are getting old when you look forward to DAYS of sleeping rather than days of partying. Saturday I have volunteer and then there is an awesome jazz concert thats going on in Brooklyn that I sort of want to go to but on the other hand… SLEEP!!! Enough said!!! Sleep might win out for Saturday. In the words of my boss “You are never going to meet anyone just by going home and sleeping” You know what? I could gave a rats hairy booty about meeting someone right now!!!