Uneventful… Girl Please

It’s a Tuesday. I went to the gym and got my workout in. I went home and chatted with my best friend for like two hours. It was basically non stop giggles because we are goofy like that. After talking to her I chilled… Literally chilled. AC set to 68 (Ice box status **doing Omarion dance**) YO Its hot in New York!!! I finally showered around 530pm. I spent the first part of my evening doing bible study at a housing complex for people with HIV/AIDS. I met so many wonderful faces that really touched my heart. They even asked me to come back and join them again. YOU BET!!!! I figured after bible study I would go and get something to eat because SISTA WAS HUNGRY!!! Im in Manhattan so you already know my go to spot… JACOBS PICKLES!!!! YES LAWD!!!! So I am sitting there and writing this blog in a notebook and ran out of words… Just went blank. Then I thought “Is it possible to have an eventful uneventful day???” 5 minutes later… I got approached by the mac daddy of Macs!!!! Even the Bartender knew something wasn’t right!!! By the way the bartender was kind of cute and he was really nice but let me get back to the foolishness that happened. The music is jamming and Im singing, eating, thinking and drinking. I look to my right and Daddy Mac walks in. I just did a quick look over my shoulder but in that second I made eye contact and all I could think was “CRAP ON A STICK!!!! I made eye contact. PLEEEEASE do NOT let him come over here!!!” My wish didn’t come true and here is what happened

ME: CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

Daddy Mac: **pimp walk over** How can you see?

Me: There’s enough light

Daddy Mac:You sure?? It’s not good for your eyes

Me: I’m good

Daddy Mac:You know what the ole people say …

Me: Yup **bored tone and looking everywhere but at him**

Daddy Mac: You feeling inspired?

Me: Not right now. No

Daddy Mac: Why? You ain’t lost nobody? Ain’t nothing happening around the world? You should ALWAYS be inspired.

Me: Well at this moment. I’m not.

Daddy Mac: Were you inspired earlier?

Me: Yup. **giving bartender SAVE me look**

Daddy Mac: Cuz you sitting here all beautiful with all that dark chocolate skin just out and got cho hair all wrapped up. Reminds me of the Caribbean, Africa and America

Me: **Bust out laughing** uhhh thank you??

Daddy Mac: How old are you?

Me: Im 35

Daddy Mac: **leans in to say in my ear** Im 57. **giving me the “I want to be sexy” look but it’s really freaking creepy**

Bartender: Hey can I get you a drink sir?? What can I get for you??

Daddy Mac: Uhh Uhhh yeh can I just have a glass of water please?? **Then goes on weird rant about straws when the bartender hands it to him**

Bartender: **Gives me the “OH SHIT HE IS WEIRD” look**

Me: **gives the ” I KNOOOOOOOW” look **

OG: Well I just wanted to let you know I thought you were beautiful with all that dark skin and all.

Me: Uhh ok. Thanks??

So He walked out I looked at the bartender and signaled or another drink. The bartender was like “I KNEW something was off. I was reading your body language and it said ‘I do not want him talking to me’ So I put the word out here at the bar to keep a look out for you. I could tell you were uncomfortable” He made my drink and goes “Here… Its on the house.” Bartender got a freaking AMAZING TIP!!!

Mac daddy was dressed like he stepped out of year 2001. He didn’t even have any back teeth!!! You missing AAAALLLL of your molars man??!!?!?!? How the hell do you chew your food?!?!?!?!?! He was really trying though!!! The fact that I kept turning away from him should have given him some kind of a clue but NOPE!!! AAAAAAND I think he took that glass of water with him on whatever walk he was going on because he stepped out and didnt come back!!! I’m not complaining though.

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The Reason

If you all could see me right now. I look a HOT MESS!!! I look like the chocolate version of Angelicas doll from rugrats. My hair is twisted all over and tied with pieces of plastic bags ( I didnt have rollers or paper bags so this was my last resort). I am sitting here in front of my big amazing fan, eating popsicles and watching Jane the Virgin. BEST.DAY.EVER!!!! This is also probably why I am not totally sold about giving up my single life. When I can sit in my bed with no bra on, eating junk food and watching netflix while my hair is tied up in dozens of twists… It doesn’t really get much better than that. Well… there are things much better than this BUT I am pretty damn happy right now.

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The man that can love me like this is going to be one hell of a man.

Heat, Hair and Dresses

Whats up ?!?!?!?! Let me start this by saying: I AM ON VACATION!!!! I have been working the entire summer almost non stop so my bosses said”Take a week off because we are heading back out in a bit.” Like Im going to say no to that. “PEACE OUT!!!!!” I got to my apartment Friday night. Now upon getting to my apartment… I walked into a WALL of heat… Im talking a heat so thick, that I almost turned and got back on the plane!!! Hot + Humid= HEEEELLLLLL NO for me. Yesterday I said “You know  what… I think I will go to the concert in Prospect park. Its free and its Andra Day. YES” Then I opened my door and that heat SLAPPED me and I said “Nope. Thats ok.” I basically parked myself in front of my AC, used three boxes of hair color and proceeded to color my hair. THAT is how I spent my night. Today I woke up and put on my AWESOME vintage dress that my friend supplied for me: OLD LABELZ… go check it out. Now my friend is AMAZING!!! We grew up together and we have always had a great friendship. She is basically the shopping queen and launched a blog and shopping site called OLD LABELZ and it is THE BOMB!!! Anyway so I picked my fro out , threw on my SUPER cute dress and wingtips and then played up my eye makeup.I felt GORGEOUS!!!!! I walked out that door and got molly whopped by that damn heat. I couldn’t turn around though because I can’t miss church and it was an excellent word today if I do say so myself. My 15 minute journey to church was one of the hottest moments of my life and I dont mean that in a great way. Y’all I was sweating in places that NO woman should EVA sweat.   When I got to church I basically had to run to the restroom, come out of my dress, wipe my body down with paper towels and put my dress back on.INSANE!!! I went to brunch with a friend and then by the time I got home it felt like all my black had melted off of me!!! Its so hot that the thought of even wearing a bra will piss you off. I am now currently parked in front of my AC and I dont think Im budging for the rest of the day.

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3 boxes of black hair dye and 2 shower caps. Super sexy huh?? HAHAHA
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Sitting in front of my AC with my new hair color and I LOVE IT

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My Forever Happy Place

What is your happy place? Where is your happy place? Everyone has one or everyone SHOULD have one. My happy place… Is my mind. I can create what I want.  I can be what I want and I can make anything and everything happen in my mind. When my day has been SHIT or the negativity of the world starts to get to me; I escape by going to another place… In my mind. It’s the only way to keep sanity if you ask me. Its super easy and the best part is that it is FREE!!!!  I can close my eyes and imagine the unbelievably best things ever. OH MAH GAH if I have music playing that adds the totally dope soundtrack!

I can go to my room, sit in the middle of my bed, close my eyes and be transported to a different state or even a different country. I can sit outside, close my eyes and instantly be at the beach sipping a cocktail while reading a book and holding hands with the man of my dreams. Sometimes fantasy is better than reality. Maybe thats why I don’t stress about being alone. I am ok being isolated and sometimes I do it on purpose. Its a pretty fabulous talent if I do say so myself. I would do it when I was little, Still do it, and will probably continue to do it for the rest of my days here on Earth.