As we know a few weeks ago I was in the emergency room. My parents were scared shitless and super concerned about my physical activity. They think I do too much and push myself too hard. Well I promised I wouldn’t do the last Spartan race that I signed up for. I signed up for it MONTHS AGO with my friend Nicole. Every day when me and mom talked on the phone after the ER she always made sure to bring up ” No more racing” even my dad said ” You need to chill on all the running” I agreed. ” No more running for me. I’m done.”
So like two days before the race I kept looking at the Spartan race logo. Two days before the race I kept checking plane tickets. Two days before the race my mind was telling me Nooooooooo but my Boodyyyyyyyyy was saying Yeeeeeeeeesssssss. I don’t see nothing wroooooong with a little run and mud. ** Old School R Kelly **I called Nicole and said ” even though I was told not to run… I’m going anyway. I promised you I would be there with you and I’m not going to leave you hanging.” She said ” You can watch from the sidelines”. Ooooooook…. First off WHO THE HELL GOES TO A RACE TO JUST WATCH?!?!?!? NOT ME!!!! Second… I paid for that damn race and can’t get my money back!!! And third… I made a promise to run that race with her and I was NOT going to leave her out there! I bought my ticket and hatched a plan. Mind you, My parents had NO CLUE!!!! Fast forward to Friday. I’m running around work like a chicken with my head cut off because I had to run work and personal errands. I was on the phone with my mom and said NOTHING about leaving for Atlanta. I even sent her a text saying ” Hey I just finished Netflix and now I’m going to sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow” Yeh I was on the plane on the way to Atlanta. Made it to Atlanta by connecting through North Carlina and me and Nicole met at the airport. We rented a car and headed to our hotel.
On the way to our hotel we cranked up the 90s hip hop and guess what the first song was?! BACK THAT THANG UP!!! We lost our shit for a good 3 minutes!!! That’s how I knew I was supposed to be at this race!!!! Juvenile was my sign!!!!! HaHAHAHAHAHA!!! We stopped at Wendys and got food and then made it to our hotel. We walk in and are ready to check in but I’m not in the system!!! Apparently I put in the wrong date and it canceled!!! Mind you it’s almost midnight. He calls like 3 hotels and only ONE had open rooms!!! We took the LAST ROOM!!! We lug our crap back to the car and drove 5 minutes to the other hotel. We unpacked and face planted into the bed because that’s what you do when you are in your 30s and work all damn day only to catch a late flight.
We woke at 6 and said “Technically we race at 10. Let’s wake at 7” There was no argument there!!! We woke at 7, had a great cup of coffee, a not so great breakfast and headed to the battleground.
We make it out to the battleground and I said we would give ourselves 3.5 to 4 hours to finish. It was an amazing course!! It wasn’t really hard, the weather was crisp but it was sunny and did I mention we laughed non stop?!?!?!? We also checked out a lot of the gorgeous male bodies that ran by us. That was probably the best part!! It was eye candy HEAVEN!!! Then the obstacles kicked in!! Nicole is really good with walls. She just needs a tiny Spartan boost and she’s up!! She held a dead hang on monkeybars when she used to not be able to even hold on let alone jump and grab it. I’ve finally mastered the monkeybars
There were multiple walls but the kicker was the cargo net up a 3 story cliff!!! Now Nicole is deathly afraid of heights. Like all of the color drained from her face and she started to shake a little bit. Guess what?!?!?! SHE DID IT ANYWAY!!! She was about to hyperventilate and I could hear her saying “ok. Ok.ok” with every step. When she made it to the top I almost picked her up and swung her around but she was shaking like a chihuahua shitting a peach seed!!! She STOMPED her worst fear!!! I was sooooo damn proud of her!!!! We climbed walls, rolled through barbed wire, trudged through water and tunnels, and saw beautiful scenery!! Dunk wall… OHHHHHH the dunk wall. Dunk wall SUCKED!! It’s 50 degrees outside and we had to go under a wall. Most of the time you can kind of make it without fully going under… NOT THIS TIME!!! And the water was F*%^>€ FREEZING!!
We had a slip wall. Now slip wall is either a do or do not. There is no in between. You can make it to the top and then eat it and slide back down. Been there done that. Nicole has too… NOT THIS TIME BABY!! We both made it up and over and the photographer got me cheering when I saw Nicole making her way over it!
This day was amazing!!! We even remembered the memory test part!!!!! We had a traverse rope which is where the giggles started. The ropes were weird and trying to pull myself across was HILARIOUS!!! Why??? Because the minute I hopped on, it sagged and I was like 2 cm from the ground!! Then my legs started to cramp and I had to stop to stretch my legs while still hanging on!!! This made me laugh HARDER!!!! Finally I had to let go because I could not get myself together. Let’s fast forward to inverted wall. Nicole was gassed but a hottie Spartan and I gave her a boost. Well he walked off as soon as she latched to the wall. She didn’t hop on good enough and I didn’t have enough height to push her up anymore. I screamed for hottie to come back!! He ran back and gave her a HUGE SHOVE!! Well when he shoved some other people pulled her arms and the next thing I know, Nicole is flying face first over the wall and all I heard was this tiny “I’m ok” Funniest moment of this entire race!!! I had to lay down in the hay I was laughing so hard!!!! I killed rope climb and we both failed spear throw even though we both missed by just a hair. When we made it to the finish line it was the most amazing feeling!!! It’s always amazing to finish a race because the shit show is over but this time I crossed with my best friend and I wouldn’t trade that moment for the world.
After the race we both said “SCREW THE SHOWERS!!! We will do that at the hotel!!” It was cold and the spray off areas water is FREEZING!!! We changed and went to our hotel. We showered and then proceeded to watch really bad acting Christmas movies. After a few hours of laziness we headed out to a near by bar where the shenanigans started again!!! BEST DAY EVER!!!
VIDEO COMING SOON!!!!!