Hello blog world!!! Its me again. Can I just say that I had the most amazing low key weekend!!! OH MAH GAH!!! This whole living by myself thing is AMAZING!!! But anyway whatever. This weekend I was social. Or at least I thought I was. My mom popped that bubble though. “Khrys being social is getting out and meeting people that you don’t already know. Not your community group honey” Really mom?? Thanks. So next weekend I will get… Like for real for real. I say that now but I know come Friday evening Im going to opt out. I can’t help it if I find eating boxes of lemon popsicles, while watching hallmark channel the most amazing thing EVER!!! Wait till I get my sofa… You are going to have to use a crow bar to get me out of this apartment!! HAHA!! My weekend has consisted of a few things
Hallmark Channel and popsicles
Large amounts of junky food
Hallmark Channel and popsicles: Ok first off hallmark channel has revoked my thug card. You can’t be a thug and watch hallmark at the same time. Im a sucker for a cheesy romance movie. Its bad yo!! BAAAAAAD!!My thug card was revoked a long time ago. Popsicles… Lemon ones at that are LIFE!!! I have cleaned two boxes in like a day and a half. I can’t help myself. I don’t know how to not eat them all in one sitting. How is that possible?? How do you only eat one popsicle?? Oh damn that’s right… It’s called self control and I have NONE!!! NONE!!! ZIP, ZILCH NADA, ZERO!!!
Sweats: Oversized hoodies and sweatpants are LIFE!!! Its the Jesus of clothing!!! Sweats are EVERYTHING and I have no idea how people live without them. I have two drawers in my closet dedicated to AAAAALLLLLL of my sweats. “Do I want the blue ones or the black ones?? Zip up or no zip up. Hood or no hood?? Hmmm” I have two looks: Super fly or super homeless… There is no happy medium. I guess a happy medium would be my hair and makeup on point while sporting my sweats?? Who does that though?? Thats unheard of. Right now Im sitting here looking like I’ve been punched in both eyes because my eye makeup is all kinds of rubbed. HAHAHAHAHA
Gym: I have worked out in the gym two days this week. I’m slowly getting motivated again. If I don’t do something at the gym then I do something quick and easy at home or at work. My workouts in the gym aren’t long but they get the job done. I’m not this super hyper gym person. I used to be years ago but I burned out. I don’t want to burn out. Doing something because I HAVE to totally takes the joy out of it for me. I have a race in like 2 weeks and I am nowhere near top notch ready. I’m ok with that though.
Large Amounts of Junk: Ok so I am a sucker for junk food. I can pack junk away like a CHAMP!! Did you not just see where I ate one and a half boxes of lemon popsicles?? I have also eaten a giant bag of puffy Cheetos and finished a box of trix cereal. HAHAHA. The healthiest things I have eaten is some fruit, and egg roll in a bowl. Other than that… JUNK JUNK JUNK and I am NOT ashamed.
Community Groups: I am a part of two community groups. One group is discovering places to go and things to eat in NYC for under 5 dollars. Our first outing was the NY public library. IT was pretty cool but I wasn’t feeling all that well so I cut out early. Saturday I am a part of a community group that deals with social injustice and racism and all that good stuff that people like to brush under the rug. This group is brushing NOTHING under the rug!! We are bringing all of this crap out all while discussing a book called “Just Mercy”. I LOVE THESE GROUPS!!! Through these groups I am also building relationships and making friends. Like I am pretty sure that I would love to have everyone over at some point for a night of food and wine.
Reading: I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. I love to read mindless stupid books and books that make me think. Im reading two books right now along with a bunch of mindless chatter books that I keep on my kindle to lighten my mood when I am feeling down or frustrated. I am happy curling up and reading a book. I am totally happy losing myself in characters and their situations. I am happy hopping into the magic world of make believe. Its way easier than dealing with real people.
All of this basically sums up every weekend for me. Every weekend you can find me doing everything that I just listed. It might not be in the exact order or a might skip one or two things but this is my standard weekend to do.
Hey Uncle Allon. I know you aren’t here with me physically but I know you are still with me. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday. I haven’t cried today and thats ok because I still have a few hours left in my evening. The night is still young!!! Can I just say that you were the coolest cat that there ever was??? I know you had your rough patches in life but I never saw those because… well because I wasn’t born during that time. I came later on You were the cool uncle with natural wavy hair and you wore it long. You were the cool uncle that wore sunglasses all the time. You were the cool uncle that had a swagger that no one could match. I never heard you raise your voice in anger. You could cuss someone SMOOTH out and knock them down a notch or two in the smoothest possible way.(Thats talent right there) You were the uncle that said “If they don’t like you… FUCK EM. You don’t need them anyway” You even had a cool laugh. You were the reason that I wanted my forehead to wrinkle when I was little. ( I now have a wrinkly forehead.) You were the uncle that always called me “Slim” or “Red” You were just my cool ass uncle. You were the force behind me going to Italy. You were the force for me to step out of my comfort zone. I know you were with me on Monday because out of NOWHERE I got the biggest damn whiff of pot. I was walking and there was a certain part of the hallway that was HEAVY with the smell. It wasn’t coming from anywhere in particular but it was just one spot. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on because I was so confused. Then it hit me. “Hot damn Uncle Allon is here.” I sleep in your pajama pants at night. The blue plaid ones that you left for me. I miss talking to you. I miss your cooking and listening to you go on about someones bullshit that they started. I miss hugging you. I know you haven’t left me though. I still feel you every once in a while. I just wanted to tell you happy birthday.
Well its another year without you. Today is your birthday and you aren’t here to tell us that you are a year younger than what you are supposed to be. We don’t get to hear the words “When I was in big mamas womb…” and then count on your little shaking fingers. Its another year of me not being able to give you flowers and Hershey kisses. Its another year of not being able to scold you about setting your motor chair on high because you knocked all the cabinets off the hinges and dented all the walls. Its another year of not watching you squint as mom combed your hair into your top bun or long silver ponytail. Its another year of not hearing you say “I don’t want to wear my depends because they make my booty look big”Its another year of not hearing your light tinkly laughter. Its another year of not seeing you in your little house dusters. Its another year of not seeing your little gummy smile because you REFUSED to put your teeth in. Its another year of not hearing you say “Oh hell” or give your little flippant eye roll. Its another year without you grandmothers. I can’t hear you, or see you but I catch the smell of your cigarettes at the weirdest times. I can’t hear you or see you but I see you in my dreams sometimes. I can’t feel your hand but I can feel your presence when I am feeling down and out. I don’t cry often but Ive never cried like I did when I lost you and my uncle Allon. I sleep with your little ratty brown blanket( with your cigarette burn in it) at night because it makes me feel close to you. I sleep in Uncle Allon’s pajama pants at night because it makes me feel close to him. Two people who I never wanted to leave… had to go. Its ok. I know it was your time.I know you were beyond tired. It was time. I still miss you like crazy though.
Soooo today work ended around noon and I FLEW home because I had to be home in time for the internet guy. While on the train I was in the process of looking for sofas. I was on the verge of ordering one until ole dude on the phone quoted me the price. It was a price I had not planned on which put a stop to my buying thoughts. Then I thought “What if I order from a different website that has free shipping??” That led me to websites with inexpensive sofas with free shipping. They did’t have the color I wanted so that lead to “Maybe I should just get a tv and fire stick and worry about Sofa later… and that my friends is exactly what I did. I was supposed to hang with my community group… internet
guy didnt finish hooking up fios until 7 because he was LATE!!! So since since I missed community group I figured “Well Im supposed to be getting better at this whole social thing… I will go to the bar and get a drink.” What did I want to do?? Stay home in my sweats and binge watch “Insecure”… Thats what I wanted to do. Why?? Because the show is AMAZING and Issa Rae is awesome sauce. I paused my show, did my makeup and headed out to the bar not too far from my apartment. I walked in, studied the menu, ordered a bomb ass beer… and proceeded to sulk. Why go to a bar and sulk?? BECAUSE I DIDNT REALLY WANT TO BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! But because I am trying to be “more social” I went against my better lazy judgment!!!! I talked to the bartender for a little bit, finished my beer and then came back home just to put my sweats back on, turn on “Insecure” and hatch out this post. I thought moving to my own place would make me more of an outgoing person. WRONG!!!!! It makes me want to bring someone home or invite people over BUT I have to actually want to leave my apartment to make that happen. Being social is SOOOOO HARD and tonight was my socializing fail. Maybe I will have better luck next week
Ohhhhh this week. Oh what a week it has been. It hasn’t been bad but my attitude has been on a level of stank that even I cringe at. Do you know how many eye rolls I have done this week?!?!?! Im surprised my eyes haven’t gotten stuck. I cut people short when they try to hold long conversations or the winner: Just walk off mid conversation if I know some foolishness is about to come my way. I just want to go home, have a drink, listen to jazz and read a book. THATS IT!!! My attitude has been so bad that I am even sick of myself!!! I blame hormones. Why do I blame hormones??? Because I have also cleaned a bag of mini snickers and a bag of sweet tarts in record time!!! Tomorrow when I get home its rest and a drink!!! LAWD have mercy on the poor idiot that crosses me wrong.
ITS MONDAY Y’ALL!!!! Since I have my own place now, I don’t have to be at work until Monday mornings at 8. I was sleep by 845p last night and was up before 6. I got dressed, picked out my fro, had a cup of coffee, read and thought through the Word, and had time to catch youtube clips of the Grammys because I didn’t watch it. I left the house a little before 7. Caught the 710 train and was at the 72nd and 2nd ave train station before 740p. What do you do when you have 20 minutes until you have to be at work?? You stop at the donut truck thats what you do. I SUCKED down a donut and was at work before 8. Whats funny is that I didn’t wipe all of my donut evidence away. I walked through the Upper East Side Manhattan with a giant chunk of donut glaze stuck to the corner of my lip and didn’t even know until my boss was like ” What did you eat this morning?? Its still stuck to your lip.” HA!!! Im walking around thinking I am hot stuff and little did I know that I had donut glaze stuck to my lip. Uuuuuuugh **Face palm** Its now 130 and I am chilling until my day with the kids starts back up. They are napping which gives me chill time. What’s your Monday looking like so far??
Oh the weekend… and I am not talking about the singer with the giant dreadlock. My weekend was interesting. I went through so many different emotions in a short period of time that it was crazy. Weekend started on Friday. I finished work and had to text my former landlord about my deposit that I was looking to get back ASAP. Calculations needed to be made (Why I don’t know because I paid everything that needed to be paid). Whatever. So I was relieved that I was finally getting my money which meant more bills were going to get paid a possible sofa was in my near future. Friday then consisted of grocery shopping. So for those of you who know me, know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the grocery store!!! I can grocery shop all freaking day and never get tired of it. I basically did enough grocery shopping to feed a family of 6… Its just me yo!!!! I made it home, washed my hair, colored my hair professional purple (can be seen in direct sunlight but other than that it looks black), cleaned, organized and CHILLED!!! Saturday rolls around. I woke up to go volunteer at the Brooklyn food pantry and that is always fun because I meet so many awesome people who are going through the Brooklyn teen challenge program and get to see the many familiar faces that come in the first two weekends of every month to stock up on food. Funny thing is that I knew my Grandmothers and Aunt Dicky were watching me because a little old lady came in and she looked like Aunt Dicky but had the voice of my Grandmothers. I wanted to hug her but didn’t want to freak her out. So I just smiled and winked up to the sky. Food Pantry was followed by a long walk home and another trip to the grocery store for a few other items that I forgot the day before. Well I got a text saying that my deposit was going to be WAY less that what I knew it should be and when I tell you I was PISSED…understatement of the year. I could have throat punched a heffa, walked off Waiting to Exhale Angela Basset style and not thought twice about it. It was some straight bull but God was like “Khrys… stop. Move on and let it go. Get your money, and be done with it.” So I took my less than stellar deposit check and came back home where I proceeded to prepare an awesome taco dinner for my friends. We were celebrating a lot and it was AMAZING!!!! Today was church and it was AWESOME!!! I got to see friends, make new friends and just be my regularr goofy self. Gotta love a place that embraces your goofy. Church was followed by a much needed mani/pedi. I made it home to prepare pastries, a simple yet amazing lunch (margarita included), laundry and CHILL TIME!!!
Now… Im sucking down popsicles like my life depends on it. HAHA!!!