DON’T FART

Alrightee then. So when I had my surgery they told me that they would give me laxatives because the pain meds would stop me up. Weeeellll the laxatives did nothing. I was taking two or three of them two times a day… NOTHING. My mom was like “Take mine. They work!!!” I was popping two or three of them two times a day… NOTHING!!! 6 days of no poop and I started getting worried. So I went to something that I knew would clean the pipes. Yooooooooooo citrate drinks… ENOUGH SAID. Last night there was one thought that went through my head: DON’T. FART!!!! If you fart… Thats GAME OVER!!! Why?? Because after drinking citrate, its not a fart… ITS A SHART!!! You will blow the bottom out of your pants and then have to throw them away.  The word shit is an understatement. Its an avalanche that doesn’t stop. Make sure you as my friends son says “Curtsey flush” HAHAHA. A LOT!!!! Make sure you have plenty of toilet paper and make sure you have a good book because you are going to be there for a minute. Im just saying.

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Author: singleinbrooklynblog

I am a 30 something year old woman living in Brooklyn NY. I am originally from Dallas TX but do not see myself moving back any time in the near future. I have a love for all food especially when it can be delivered to my apartment. I love running OCR even though I am the slowest person out there. I have a short attention span (why NY is the ideal place for me). I am silly, sarcastic, optimistic, easy going and fun. I am also very single and I must say that I am enjoying my Single In Brooklyn life.

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