Soooo lately its been hard for me to find stuff to write about. So the past few months my mom has noticed that I have been talking more and more about settling down, getting married and having my own family. SHUT YOUR FACE!!! SAY WHAT?!?!?!?! YES!!! I didn’t realize how much I was bringing it up until my mom pointed it out. “Yooooo you’ve been throwing those words around a lot Khrys. You good??” OHHHHH MAH GAAAAH you’re right!!!! Whats happening to me?? I think its seeing everyone else in a relationship. And being a nanny I see how I want to raise my kids and how I DON’T want to raise them. I don’t know. I look around and I’m like “Ok Khrys. You’re 36 honey bun… Get your SHIT together!!!” But does anyone really have their shit together?? I mean really??? Someone might have all their money in order but be totally jacked up in the head. They might be totally sane but be terrible with money. Uggggh why is adulting so hard?!?!?!?!?! Who invented this??? Who lied and said being an adult was awesome?? Huh?? WHO?!?!?! IM 36!!! According to my18 year old self Im supposed to be married in a giant house with two GIANT LAZY Great Danes!!! Im supposed to be in the medical field with a high paying job and blah blah blah. NONE of that has happened. NONE!!!! The only goal that I reached on that goal list is: Live in NYC. THATS IT!!! Im not a doctor or in the medical field.( Turns out Im not wired to retain all of that info. However I can remember random facts about ducks…THE HELL?!??!?!?!) Im not married. Hell Im not even dating. I don’t have my Great Danes (STILL WANT THEM THOUGH).I don’t have a big house. Instead I have a TINY apartment at the bottom of someones house. My rent however is what a giant house mortgage would be. Whats the deal??? I think the issue lies in one particular spot. My mom tells me “God you’re such a smart ass.” Thats code for “You are such an asshole” I CAN’T HELP IT!!! I do not know how to people. What is peopling?? Why do I have to people?? So since I don’t know how to interact with others, I get irritated and then the sarcastic asshole makes an appearance and there is nothing I can do about it. Im totally ok being on the outside looking in. I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching others interact. I can picture in my head what I am supposed to do but when it comes to actually doing it… its a total cluster crap. **Face palm** I don’t think that Im ugly. I LOVE my awkward quirky self. I maybe kind of sort of have my shit together. I can be funny and I like adventure and travel. I would like to think that I am a good catch. I just have to work on not being an asshole. That means I have be ok with sharing all things donuts, alcohol, blankets and pillows and self. **heavy sigh** I think Im ready y’all.