Vrooom Vrooom Vroooooooooom!!!! Yeh buddy we are still rolling the dirt buggy!!!! How y’all doing?!?!?!?!?! What could possible top a day of zipping and jumping from trees??? Hauling ass on an ATV on different beaches thats what!!!! Mom and I woke up early because you know we are old souls and are sleep before 7 and up at the ass crack of dawn. We were determined to find breakfast in town. We totally didn’t think about it being Christmas Day. Oops. We also didn’t factor in that it was 730 in the morning. OOPS! We made into Tamarindo and parked. We walked from place to place looking for any breakfast spot that might be open. Finally we found a spot that welcomed us in. They let us know right from the jump that their menu was limited. No meats. So I ordered French toast and eggs. Mom got eggs, some kind of rice and beans and a chunk of white cheese. We also got the main thing we were looking for… COFFEE!!! Strong coffee at that!! We paid for our food and then hopped back in to our mad max buggy. Im feeling myself now y’all because I have figured out how the damn thing works. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Who was going 87 on the open road???? THIS CHICK HERE!!!!! We hit the road and drove the 10 minutes it took to get to the place where we were going to start our ATV journey.
We got the walkthrough on how to work everything and our guide Bruno led us on a 3 hour tour!!! We hit wooded areas and beaches. We got to see the Pirate Beach, turtle beach and like two or three other beaches. We had time to sit and admire the beauty around us. We had time to play and relax. We also had time to chat with one another. Y’all it was so freaking GORGEOUS!!!!! Pictures didn’t capture what we saw with our naked eye. One of the coolest things we got to see up close was the Howler Monkeys!!! They were in all of the trees and just watched us as we watched them!!! They were also trying to nap and our loud ass ATV’s were disturbing them… OOPS
Our ATV adventure lasted over 2 hours!!! We were gone for like 3 hours yo!!! It was hot but with the breeze blowing, it wasn’t too bad. What was hot though was the damn motor or engine or whatever that damn thing is that you rests your legs against. HOLY SHIT that gets hot. Towards the end of our tour I had to prop my legs up near the handle bars. On the way back we saw some big ass lizards and a fucking SNAKE zoom across our path. So happy I was burning rubber on that freaking ATV!!! Thats all I gotta say about that!!
After a morning of driving along the beaches mom and decided to head home to shower and change because we were covered in road dust from the ATV. We went to the grocery store and bought a WHOLE CHICKEN, brioche rolls, and all kinds of little snacks. We drove to the beach, set up camp and made chicken sandwiches!! We grubbed and drank for 4 hours y’all!!! 4 hours!!! It was so damn relaxing
We stayed out until 445p. You know how hold people do “We gotta be home before it gets dark because we can’t see at night” HAHAHAHAHA!!! That was TOTALLY US. We made it home before 5 and were sleep by 7. Y’all if we don’t have geriatric souls… I TELL YA!!!!! Day 6… Icing on the CAKE!!!! Couldn’t have asked for a better adventure to wind down an awesome vacation.
Yodel Le Heeeee Whoooooooooooo! I figured I would start this entry a little different. Day 5 adventure y’all was the adventure of adventures!!!! Can it be topped??? I don’t know because it was pretty kick ass if I do say so myself. What was in store for Mom and me??? ZIP LINE!!!!!! YAAAAAAAS! We were able to sleep until like 730… but me being the bright eyed bushy tailed person that I am, was up at like 530. I was noisy… again but made it to my hammock to chill for a bit. Mom came out of her sleep to join me in the hammocks for a little bit. We didn’t have long to sit because our bus was coming to get us at 830a. SO EXCITED!!! I threw on some old gym shorts and tank top. I pulled my hair back in my two raggedy braids(They were so raggedy y’all) and put on my trail running shoes. Wellllllll on the way out dude from the cabin next to us(The boyfriend with the dog bone of a girlfriend) came out with a smile “Hey how are you?” “Doing good. How are you?” “Good. Are you going for a run??” “No not today. We are going zip lining!!!” “Oh how awesome!!!” I informed him of the adventures from the day before which was the hike. He got a disappointed look as he said that his girl would never be down for anything like that. But I told him that there was a MASSIVE spa day that followed. He brightened up and said she might be game for it since there was spa day that followed. I mean really dude why date someone who doesn’t enjoy doing the same things that you like?? That sucks!!! Whatever. Not my problem!!!! So moving forward. Mom and I got ready and our bus arrived right on time. We hopped on the bus with a family of 3. They also happened to be from Texas. They were from Corpus Christi. I JUST forgot their names. The mom was Veronica, daughter Sierra and I cant think of the husbands name. He was super cool though. All of them were amazing. It was like a 10 minute bus ride to the treetop course. We hopped out of the van and it was game on. The guys fit us all in our harnesses, gave us hand guards and helmets. We got the fastest demonstration EVER and then it was time to zip
There were like 8 different zips, one or two tree crossings and one free fall bungee thing. It was so much fun!!!! I thought mom would chicken out but she didnt!!! She did everything!!! She did every zip and even the free fall!!!! MOM DID THE UPSIDE DOWN zip too!!!! YES SHE DID!!!! Our instructors were amazing, funny and super helpful. The course was well put together and was super safe. LOVED IT!!!
So after like 2 or 3 lines the guy takes us and we are all standing on this platform. He gives us the option to do the bungee free fall or cross the bridge. All of us chose the free fall. It was fun and terrifying at the same time. He clips you on to this motorized belt. You jump and it catches you and lets you down to the ground slowly. Heres the thing. When you jump there is a lot of slack in the rope so you do free fall for like a half a second. The guy thought it was hilarious to push us when he thought we were ready. If we were taking too long to make up our minds when to jump; he would just help you along by pushing you over the edge.
Afte jumping from the top of a tree, we got to cross this crazy bridge and then zip through the rest of the forest. On one of the zips he made us go upside down. He said there was no other way to do it!!! THE HELL YOU MEAN THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!?!?!?!? Guess who he picked to go first??? Yup yours truly. So I stepped up to be the first victim and BOY DID I LOVE IT!!!! Mom screamed and called on Jesus when it was her turn. You guys I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE!!!! The video footage has my stomach hurting every time that I watch it and thats EVERYDAY!!! On the last zip, our guide nicknamed me supergirl. I was the last to go. Why?? Because he fixed my harness so I was hanging from my stomach. I had to kick my legs back and let ‘er fly… like supergirl. Well When I kicked my legs back… I accidentally kicked him in the balls and I just heard him grunt “OOOOOOY. Don’t put foot there. The boys are there!!!” So for 5 seconds I was supergirl!!!! I FLEW THROUGH THE TREES and it was AHHHHH-MAZING!!!!
The place was called Picillia Zip Line if Im not mistaken. I can not remember our guides but they were AMAZING!!! We went through all of the zips, they snapped all of our pictures and then afterwards they used a machete and cut up some pineapple for us. BEST TREAT EVER!!!!
After we finished zipping and eating our pineapple we made it back home to chill for a bit. I changed into a swimsuit and clean clothes and then made my way out to the hammock. Well guess who was looking for me to say good bye… Yup you guessed the cabin neighbor with the whack ass girlfriend. He said bye to my mom instead because he couldn’t find me. Him and his girlfriend were walking out together with their bags. My mom being super petty goes “Oh Khrys is in the hammock.” She said he looked over for me and the girl just gave a tight smile and “uh ok” I CAN NOT STOP LAUGHING!!!! Girl bye and to your cutie pie of a boyfriend “Honey I hope you find a WOMAN that enjoys everything there is about you and that will invite your sense of adventure into their lives so they can have something AMAZING to share with you.” Aiight now that thats out the way lets get back to regular programming
So we called a taxi to take us to pick up our dirt buggy. Its called a UTV but that sounds like some kind of STD so I’m just going to call it a dirt buggy. We went to get our buggy because our hosts got it for us for a decent price… cheaper than a car because insurance on a car out RIDICULOUS!!! We get to the place and everything is good until he says “There is a 1000 dollar deposit” EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME!!! WHAT did you just say??? No No No NOOOOO HELL NO!!! I grabbed all my things and told him “Thats not going to happen. First of all because we were not told about a 1000 dollar deposit and second because who the hell has that kind of money to put down on a dirt buggy?!?!?! No Im sorry but you are going to keep that buggy.” He goes “You have to put deposit when you rent car no matter where you go.” I was like “Yeh but not a thousand fucking dollars!!! Have you lost your mind??!?!?!?! I could understand if I was renting the damn thing for 10 days but Im not putting that money down for 2 days. Screw that.” He just looked at me and the poor clerk didn’t know what to do. She just sat and watched us exchange words. He said “Ok ok. I make it 500” I told him I could do that but that I BETTER get my money back!!! He assured me the I would get my money back. I better or there will be HELL to pay do you hear me?!?!?!?!? So we were walked to our buggy and the little dirty dude showed us how everything worked. We hopped in, buckled up, turned on the car and FOOLERY BEGAN!!!
BAY-BAY when I tell you I felt like a freaking road warrior… an inept warrior but a warrior none the less. It takes some getting used to. The breaks work but really all you have to do is just take your foot of the gas and the car stops moving. Learned that by surprise when trying to slow down a little bit. Also learned that they move pretty fast. I was like granny behind the wheel going like 40 mph because there is no speed limit and I wasnt sure exactly how fast the thing could go!!! Like will it blow up or fall apart if I push the gas all the way down?? Its noisy as hell and not a smooth ride but it gets the job DONE when ridding on the beaches and rocky areas. It is so much fun to drive!!! We made it home around 430ish?? Why were we sleep by 530p?!?!?! Y’all I mean like KNOCKED.OUT!!! The sun and zipping took it out of us y’all. We didn’t even eat dinner. We sat in our room and ate Cheetos and then CRASHED!!! HAPPY DAY TO US!!! Wonder what the next adventure will be for the Khrys and Doris’ great adventure tales!!! Stay tuned to find out
Alright you guys so one of the main reasons that I wanted to come to Costa Rica was so that I could see some waterfalls and jump off of some things and just get all of my adventure in. We woke up or should I say that I woke up at 5ish (better than 445) but we had to be up early because our shuttle was coming at the ass crack of dawn. Like we had to be ready before 7. Our shuttle arrived at like 645 and our driver/guide was named Juan Carlos. When we got on the bus we noticed that George and Gina had sent their brother Greg to come hang out with us. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I have named all of the grasshoppers. They are freaking massive!!! So Juan Carlos takes off driving and Greg is holding on to the side of the bus. We hit the main road and dude was driving 50mph… GREG.DID.NOT.BUDGE!!! All he did was fold his back legs up so the little ones could get a better grip. The wind was blowing through his antennas like this was a freaking roller coaster ride for him. WTF?!?!?!?!
Alright so we are on the bus and we go and pick up like 6 or 7 more people. We take off and they tell us “Its about an hour and a half drive so if you want some food or coffee let us know so we can make a stop for you.” They get going and after about 45 minutes or so we park in Philadelphia. Yes there is a place here called Philadelphia. Its famous because they have a park here where the Iguanas hang out. We looked up and the trees were PACKED with Iguanas. A lot of them were orange or reddish color and we found out thats because they were trying to attract the female. We didn’t see any females though. They had to be somewhere though because we saw some babies. Sooooooo someone was getting their groove on at some point. I guess the women were like “Uhhhh these guys are so whack!!! Its always the same thing. Turn orange and hope to turn me on… Uuuuuggggh!!!! Let me find a yellow man that will be the game changer.” HAHAHA!!!
We dropped the group of 7 off at the resort and we continued on for another 30 minutes. So on our drive we stopped because there were MONKEYS flying through the trees. White faced monkeys and it was a SHIT TON OF THEM!!!! I only have video of them and I can’t post them because I am cheap and am using the FREE version of WordPress. So MOVING ON
We hiked for about an hour and a half. It was paved half of the way and the rest was stairs or trails. We got to experience what is known here as killer trees. Basically roots grow up and wrap around whatever tree is near. They basically suffocate the damn thing like snake. They tighten and attach to tree so when you look at them you see a tree within a tree.Its creepy and awesome at the same time. We were also near the volcano so we were able to see the boiling mud pools. They get up to 107 Celsius!!!! You know how freaking hot that is?!?!?!?! There were some parts where you could see steam coming from the ground. You could move a rock and steam would be pouring out of it. The trees were unreal!!! We saw howler monkeys and a lot of monkey poop. We saw a big ass spider as well. Mom and I took pictures at every tree and whenever the lighting was good because DUUUUUH thats what you do!!!!
Now my main main MAIN goal for Costa Rica was to see a waterfall and BAY-BAY it was DELIVERT!!!! Yes I said Delivert!!!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can not describe how freaking amazing it was!!! I wanted to go walk through it but they had it gated off. It was SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!
From the waterfall we walked through and got some amazing pictures of the sun shining through the trees. There was a crap ton of steam from the ground and surround pools so you could feel the humidity and heat as well as smell the sulfur… YUCK
We finished our hike and figured we would have the driver take us back to our Bed and Breakfast so we could change and go get tacos and beer. Well he was like “No lunch is here.” SHUT YOUR FACE are you serious?!?!?!?!?! It was buffet style and it was THE BOMB!!! I had rice, salad, some kind of pork, something else and then they had salted banana chips. THOSE CHIPS… GAME CHANGER DUDE!!!!! Hell when I finished everything on my plate I went back 3 more times just for the chips. The KICKER is that you could get BEER!!!!! Oh we grabbed a super cold beer and CHUGGED IT in record time. After we ate we said “We will go back to the house, chill and relax. NO CAN DO!!! “No no you dont go yet. You guys have spa day.” WHAT CHU SAY!?!?!?!?! Spa day is included??? Y’all. We didnt bring a clothes for swimming because WE WERE NOT TOLD THIS WAS INCLUDED IN OUR PACKAGE. But y’all know me. YOLO!!!! I stripped out of my tank top, rolled the waist down on my running tights(let the belly get some air) and said “LETS DO THIS!!!” We walked with everyone and painted ourself with clay mud from the volcano. We sat and let it dry and then I did what only some crazy guy did… I JUMPED IN RIVER!!!! I wanted to jump from a high place but. no one could tell me how deep the water was and I wasnt trying to come out paralyzed!!!! I picked a lower rock and went for it and boy was it awesome!!!!! I swam for a minute and then we headed to the pools. There was a hot pool, a warm pool and a cold pool. After my swim, I parked my black ass in that warm pool and DID.NOT.MOVE!!!!
After we soaked for a bit, we said “ITS TIME TO GO!!! We been gone all day!!!” Well we had to wait on the OTHER 7 PEOPLE who rode the bus with us. When we were leaving the pools, they were JUST getting started. SHIIIIIIIIIT!!! So we sat in the sun to dry off a bit and then the driver cut the van on for us so we could chill in the AC while we waited for everyone… That was like over an hour wait. Finally we made it back to the cabin where we showered and got dressed and then we went out for… You guessed it… TACOS!!! Because tacos are LIFE!!!!
TACOS AND MICHELADA’S TO THE RESCUE!!!!! Our bellies were filled and our tired souls were sooth by the taste of Street tacos and the best damn micheladas I have EVER had. The adventures just keep coming you guys!!!! I am in no hurry to get back to adulting. Tomorrows adventures are going to be even BETTER!!!! Stay tuned!!!!
Day 3 in the wonderful Costa Rica y’all. DAY 3 DAY 3!!!! Day 3 started with me waking at the ass crack of dawn… No seriously I was up at 445a like I slept a full 15 hours and it was 9 in the morning. Mom was basically dead to the world. I tried to move around quietly but that just wasn’t happening. I grabbed my journal and lap top and then headed outside to lay in the hammock. The breeze was AHHHH-MAZING and it basically just swung me into a nap… A good deep one at that because when my mom found me, I had dried drool stuck to my face. HAHAHA!!! I clean myself up and we hit the cabana area for a cup of coffee. I made small talk with some cabin neighbors… Now let me tell you about this ish right here. This is a whole different paragraph.
Ok So remember my first day here I made friends with the people in the cabin next to mine. Well girlfriend was nice but I could tell she wasn’t crazy about me. Why?? Because me and her man hit it off great and had a bunch of things in common regarding adventure and running. None of that shit was up her alley so she was giving me the evil eye. Energy wasn’t bad but I could feel it changing. Day 2 the boyfriend greeted me that morning and made conversation with me and she was quiet… Energy continued to shift. DAY 3… Boyfriend greeted my mom when he saw her and then turned all the way in his seat to talk to me when I walked up to the cabana for coffee. This chick straight went to her cell phone and didn’t say shit to me. And then glared a few times. Look-a here you blonde dog bone heffa. I.DONT.WANT.YOUR.MAN!!!! He can’t do jack shit for me and I wouldn’t want him to anyway. BUT if I was the super petty heffa that I can be at times I WOULD be able to give you a run for your money so DO NOT get it twisted and DO NOT mess with me. ** Black girl magic twirl here**
My mom and I scheduled the rest of our adventures with our Hosts and then got ready for adventure number 1. SURFING!!!! Mom was GAME!!! WE got in our cab and trekked it out to Tamarindo. First we needed FOOD!!! We had tacos the night before so we needed something different. We settled on a cool sushi place. We got some kind of rice bowls and a just a really good veggie roll that had mango in it. SN: MANGO IS A LIFE CHANGER HERE!!!
MOVING ON!!! We walked around and found a cool sidewalk and then chilled at the beach before our 2p surf lesson. So we had drank all this water and I was like “I GOTTA PEE!!! It took me FOREVER to find a bathroom!!! The first one I found didn’t have lights. I asked the girl “Hi… yeh… How do I turn on the light??” She goes “Oh it doesn’t work.” I was like “Ooooook so how am I supposed to find the toilet and then pee in toilet. And How am I supposed to see lingering bugs that sting or bite that aren’t supposed to be in here… PASS!” She just laughed. I walked smooth out and found another place where there was also no light but they had a window and that window gave enough light for me to see where my landing was. HAHAHAHA!!!
So after chilling it was time to surf. We met our instructor Manuel. Yooo… He came walking around that corner with just board shorts, tattoos, and a ball cap and I was like “GOOD LAWD JESUS YOU ARE FINE!!!” He got us fitted in our rash guards and gave us a board and said to follow him. You don’t have to tell me twice. We trudged down to the beach and he helped us get our boards settled before going into the basics of surfing. I didn’t really have trouble getting it but mom struggled a little with the pop up part. Finally she said “You know what… I’m out. I will sit on the board and watch how bout that.” Manuel tried to talk her into keeping it going but she shut that down quick y’all. He was pleased with what I was doing so he said “Lets go” We picked up the board and headed out to the water and that is where the awesomeness began. Y’all I surfed!!!! Like for real surfed!!! For a minute I was like “I wonder if this is how Jesus felt?” It was awesome!!! The tide kicked in after about 45 minutes and I got rolled A LOT!!! A few times I wiped out and I could here Manuel scream “YOU OK??” And I would pop up with a smile and give him a thumbs up. I kept it going though. 2 hours later I finished with the biggest smile on my face
Surfing did me in Yo!!! My poor little beat up body!!! EVERY… EV-ER-Y MUSCLE in my body was screaming and I did NOT care because I had so much fun!!!! We made it home to shower and relax before heading off to my favorite hole in the wall restaurant that I was introduced to. This time when we went they had a guard dog. HAHAHA!!! Someone started shooting off fire works and watchdog took off barking like “HEY HEY!!! I DONE TOLD Y’ALL ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT!!! DONT MAKE ME… THATS IT IM COMING FOR YO ASS!!!!!! **insert manic barking **
After an amazing dinner we made it home where we both changed to our pjs and climbed into bed in under 3 minutes flat. I think we were both sleep before 10. GOOD LAWD!!!!! Stay tuned for day 4.
Alright people day 2 in Costa Rica came and went.It was the most chill day ever. I woke up at the ass crack of dawn and decided “let me put on my swimsuit and chill all day” I grabbed my trusty laptop so I could keep you guys posted and chilled all damn day. I felt sexy and amazing and I can NOT complain!!! There is something about not caring about what others think. There is something about just loving and enjoying… YOU!!
waking up so early and experiencing my surroundings was freaking AHHHH-MAZING!!! Like there is no way to be stressed while here… AT ALL!!!! FOR WHAT?!?!?! Why do you have to stress over while in Costa Rica?!?!?!? NOTHING!!! NOTH-ING!!! **lip smack and eye roll here**
This was also the day that mom was arriving!!!! **insert teeny bopper squeal here** I’m like “Mom lands at 120p so she won’t arrive to the cabin until maybe 3. You gotta factor in customs and luggage and all that jazz. So anyway I wait… and wait… and wait… and wait some more. I go back and forth from hammock to cabin. While waiting for mom I parked myself in one of the many hammocks around the tiny resort and zoned out. The wind was blowing, the sun was out and it basically lulled me to sleep. YAAAASSS!!! Sleeping in a hammock in paradise can now be checked off of my bucket list. So 230 comes and goes… 3 comes and goes… 330 comes and goes. Im calling my mom because I was like “Did my mom get the right taxi?? Was she kidnapped?? Why is she not answering her phone yet??” FINALLY about 345 she arrived and that was when FOOLERY went down. Im goofy… Like super goofy so I know I get it from my mom because she is SUPER GOOFY but in a really corny way. She cornballs like no other. LMBO!!!!
I call the taxi dude to come and pick us up. Mind you he speaks NO ENGLISH and my mom speaks NO SPANISH. I told her homeboy did not speak English. Why did she continue to talk to him in English and when he just looked at her, she slowed down her words. DUDE… HE DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH!!! LMBO!!! Our driver busted out laughing. So he would talk to me and I would translate for her. He took us into Tamarindo so we could explore a bit as well as find something to eat. We get to Tamarindo and its noisy in a way but not in an annoying way. We walked from shop to shop and I bought two romper like things. YES YALL!!! I bought something that wasn’t backpack or sweat pants/hoodie related!!!! GO ME!!! We walked some more and were like “WE NEED FOOD!!!!!” We walked to one place and they had sushi but we weren’t feeling sushi so we asked where we could get tacos. He told us to go up the hill and make a left. We HIT THE JACKPOT YO!!!!! Little taco place run by a dude thats from Texas!!!! Tacos were UNFREAKIN REAL!!!!!!! And on top of that we got the Micheladas(I think thats how its spelled) YOOOOOOOOOO! AMAZING!!!!!
So after a taco grub we decided to hit this little bodega for some bottles of water and mango nectar. We walk in and its all groovy until we heard a **THWACK** It sounded like someone threw a brick at the freezer window!!! Me being me… I threw up the bows and started bobbing and weaving like I was in a Ludacris video Mom just goes “Oh Khrys its just a grasshopper” Y’all. That was not a grasshopper… It was some kind of science experiment that was SUPPOSED to be a “grasshopper”. It was the size of my forearm NO BULLSHIT!!! Grasshopper my ass!!! The damn thing was watching me!!! It was moving all slow like a lion on the prowl… Yo you got me messed up. I move right on out the way and went to another fridge to find nectar. Im looking and mom goes “Did you find it?” I said “Yup right here” She goes “let me see” I turn to show her and she’s holding Gregory the GIGANTIC GRASSHOPPER by the middle of his body talking bout “Look!!!” Y’all thats the first time in life I almost called my mom “bitch” LMBO!!!! I didn’t because I didn’t want to lose my life in Costa Rica but she almost got throat punched for real. All I could say was “See you play too much!!!” LMBO!! She was like “its just a grasshopper.” “No. Noooo its not ‘JUST A GRASSHOPPER’ Why don’t you understand this?!?!?!?!?!”
We made it back to our awesome cabin and I went to unlock the door and Gregory’s baby cousin decided to pay a visit. George took flight and I swung and was inches from socking mom in the nose. LMBO!!!! I’m ok with little bugs but the big ass ginormous ones that make me feel like Im in “Honey I Shrunk The Kids” I can TOTALLY do without. Lets see what day 3 will have in store for us.
What it do? What it do? What.It.Do!!!! So Tuesday was the count down of allllll count downs. Why??? VACATION TIME BABY!!!! Two whole weeks of nothing but me myself and I. 7 of those day are in paradise!!! **insert praise break** This vacation is BEYOND needed. I booked everything with the “Treat cho self” mindset. Its going to be 7 whole days of giving ZERO… Do you hear me?? ZERO FLIPS!!!! I have 7 days of no worries, no stress… NOTHING!!! The only things Im thinking about are: Food, next adventure, good trouble I can get into, how much can I drink, and fun in the sun!!!! Thats it. THATS.IT!!!
So my day started at 4am yesterday morning. I had to wake up early because it was going to take a little over an hour to get to EWR airport and then check in and all that good stuff. I knew it was going to chaos but had no idea what level of chaos that I was about to willingly walk into. Now when I travel I have my standard flight attire: Hoodie, sweats, head scarf, running shoes. This time I opted for my Birkenstocks because HELLLLO Im going somewhere tropical and need my toes out… even though I know Birks aren’t the sexiest sandals; they work for me. Anyway I am hauling ass to the train with my overpacked duffle and small backpack. Found out that Birkenstocks are not the best shoe to speed walk in. I get to the train only to find out that it is shut down until 5am. WTF?!?!?! I am on a PLANNED schedule here. Its 445!!! I don’t have time to wait for the train. I huffed back up the stairs and the first thing on my mind was “Damn it I need coffee” I look up and there is a bodega right in front of me. I order my uber and it tells me that I have 8 minutes. YAAAAS!!! I start digging through my bag for my money and a cute little guy stopped and stared at me. I smiled and went back to digging in my bag. I found my money and walked in heading straight for the coffee pot!!! The guy was about to walk out when he stopped and looked at me again and then this happened
Guy: Excuse me… You are gorgeous
Guy: You are beautiful.
Me: Uhh thanks.
Guy: Can I get call you sometime. Better yet let me give you my number
Me: Are you serious?? Are you drunk??
Guy: I’m Dead serious and I’m not drunk. You are…wow
Me: Uhhh Yeh sure
Guy: Whats your name?
Guy: Im Eric. Nice to meet you.
So I got his number and called him so he would have my number. Y’all… He thought I was gorgeous in all my sweatpants/Birkenstock glory!!!! SAY.WHAT?!?!?! I did wear concealer and mascara and my hoop earrings so I wouldn’t be TOTALLY BUSTED but… dude!!! Can we say **black girl magic twirl in 3…2…1**
Ok so I hop in my uber and make it to Grand Central so I can ride the bus over to EWR. Now here is the thing about drinking the biggest cup of coffee in LIFE on an empty stomach… I got a case of the bubble tummy. DUUUUUDE!!!! I was like ” I can just use the restroom in Grand Central and then make a mad dash for the bus. Its 515. Im like “Why is everyone standing outside???” Guy tells me “Oh they don’t open the doors until 530″ WHAT?!?!?! Ohhhhh no.. nooo. no no no NOOOOOOOOO!” SO I had to curb my bubbly tummy and haul to the bus stop where I had to wait another 10 minutes for the driver to get there. Hop on the bus and its like a 30 minute ride to the airport. We get to the airport and I walked into a cluster fuck of chaos. LINES are ridiculous. the counters are understaffed. Its madness!! It takes me AN HOUR to get checked in and my bag checked. I make it through security and to my gate in time to realize that I have 20 minutes before boarding!! BATHROOM TIME!!!! I HAULED ass to the restroom and made it do what it do y’all. Never ever… EVER drink a giant cup of coffee on an empty stomach. EVER… NEVER EVER EVER!!!!
I get back to the gate and realize “Holy shit there are a lot of unhappy kids that seem to be getting on the same plane as me” Well guess what…There were a lot of unhappy ass kids getting on this exact flight. **Insert face palm** What is one to do when they realize they have walked into the screaming kid trap??? You pop two Benadryl ASAP and let the sandman carry you away. I board the plane and two of 20 screaming kids sit directly in front of me. Little boy was maybe 5 or 6. Little girl looked to be around 4. When I tell you those two FOUGHT the entire flight… I mean like punching and kicking each other. Crawling over one another because they both wanted the window seat. They yelled and they screamed and I was just waiting for my Benadryl to kick in to take me away from it all. 15 minutes later… My wish came true
I woke up after like an hour because the seat in front of me was bouncing because they were…you guessed it… FIGHTING AGAIN. But God is good and my eyes got heavy again and he took me out for another 2.5 hours!!! WONT.HE.DO.IT?!?!?!?! I woke up and we had an hour left to go. I plugged in my earbuds and blocked out the world while John Mayer serenaded me into peace.
Yooooo we landed and I was soooooo damn ready to get off the plane. BEYOND READY
I walked off the plane and happily skipped my ass to customs. I then skipped my black ass to grab my luggage and then skipped outside to find my taxi. Now getting outside you are BOMBARDED with drivers screaming “you need a taxi” Its a madhouse!!! I was like “No I have a car waiting for me already” … Like I’m a celeb or something…. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I find the little guy holding the sign with my name and said lets go!!! He spoke NO ENGLISH which is cool with me because hello I’m not one of the assholes of the world that feels that everyone should speak the same language that I do. I DID have to pull out my 9th grade Spanish tough. I was able to talk to him a little bit but anything beyond my super beginner Spanish was lost on me. So its about an hour car ride from the airport to the BnB.
My cool sunglasses
We arrive and I step foot through the gates… When I tell you that I could feel EVER.SINGLE.OUNCE.OF.STRESS leave my body… UNDERSTATEMENT. After I checked in my body basically went slack. My body aches stopped, my sinuses cleared back up (a little…there a lot of snot in there). I unpacked and changed into my swimsuit and had a seat in the hammock while drinking my FRESH MADE juice that the owners made for me.
There is a couple staying in the cabin next to mine. Super nice. She’s a model and he is finance or something like that. We ended up hitting it off and took a taxi to get some amazing food last night. I cant tell you the name of the place all I can tell you is that the food tasted like a little Latina grandma and Jesus himself cooked it. IT WAS SOOOO GOOD!!!
So we made it back before 930p. They wanted to hang out but see the way my sleep clock is set up… It just wasn’t happening. I changed into my pajamas, cut on the air and then walked into my bathroom to freshen up. I look down in the shower and it took everything in me not to FLIP THE FUCK OUT. There was baby scorpion crawling in the shower. See this is where the Birkenstock came in super handy… Rest in peace Skippy the scorpion!!! You never saw it coming. That shook me a little bit though… Sooooo I made sure the bug net was draped AAAAALLLLL The way around my bed before my eyes decided to close. BEST SLEEP EVER!!!! I can only imagine what day two has in store for me especially since mommy is going to be added to the mix. Stay tuned you guys.
Whats up good people who are bored and swing through to read my blog??? Well today the unthinkable happened… I ran out of yarn!!!! There is a back story to this but just know that I have reached an early senior citizen low.
SHORT BACK STORY
Every fall and winter I stock up on yarn and make scarves for the homeless people I see on the street or in the subway stations. I hand them scarves with a cup of coffee or something to eat. Well every year I end up making more and more
BACK TO NOW
Just in the past 2 months I have made OVER 30 scarves. I have mailed off 2 boxes to a wonderful woman in Chattanooga who is handing them out to the black community there. I sent a box with my mom this past weekend and I am making random ones for friends and family who ask. I can pump out 2 or 3 scarves a week. I always pack yarn when I go to work. I packed two big things of yarn on Monday morning and yesterday I finished them both. Do you know what happened after??? I had no idea what to do?? I felt so lost!!! The hell?? My life has come to Yarn and hallmark movies!!!! I have reached a new geriatric low!!! Like I was LEGIT confused with how to spend my time!!! I just sat staring at my hands like “uhhhh well… Hmmm. What do we do now??” I have a DRAWER full of yarn that I am ITCHING to dig into tomorrow when I get home!!! Im having yarn withdrawals y’all. I know some time tomorrow Im going to go to Michaels and buy some more yarn. Whyyy?? Because the little boy that I nanny wants one AND someone else has requested a box of scarves for the homeless shelter she helps with.
You guys have no idea how much joy this brings me!!! Knowing that I am sharing my love with the world by giving out a little bit or warmth. All are made with nothing but LOVE! Every year I burn out really fast but the fact that I have had such a great turn out this year has kept the fire going. I do want to branch out and and maybe get a small group of knitters and crocheters to help create and distribute. Im trying to keep up!!! If you know anyone who can help out. HIT ME UP!!!!!