What Had Happened Was…

You know when you go to sleep with goals??? “Im going to wake up and hit the gym. Better yet… I’m going to RUN to the gym and then get my full workout in.” “I’m going to do laundry and clean my room and finish crocheting this blanket.” “I am going to start journaling again and meditate. Hell I might even get back into yoga”

Now fast forward to waking up. “You know what… I’m just going to lay here. Nope  not moving. I need coffee. Coffee is good. Wait that means I have to get up… never mind.” “I love my bed and it is totally loving me right now.” “I can run later today right?? Do I really need to do laundry?? Hmmmm maybe I should close my eyes, snuggle back in and really think about these life choices that are being forced on me right now.” I am really not about  “productive life” right now. I AM about the “stay in bed all day, snuggled in my blankets and pillows while watching Netflix and thinking of ordering breakfast takeout” kind of life at the moment and it sounds pretty damn good if you ask me.

I had goals and then what had happened was… I kind of changed them at the last minute. It happens **snuggles back into blankets with a heavy happy sigh**




For the past two weekends I have been racing. I ran warrior dash weekend  before last and this past weekend I ran my first Spartan race of the season. Both races were AWESOME!!! Warrior dash was great because I ran with my childhood friend. She’s wanting to get into OCR and asked me to run with her. Like I can say no to that. DUDE BRING ON THE MUD!!!! We drove to Austin and had a blast!!!

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This past weekend I flew to Houston to race by myself. You guys I can’t even describe how awesome this experience was. I accomplished the unthinkable in my athletic world… I didn’t place dead last like I normally do. I actually placed pretty well for someone of my slacker workout standards. HA!!! 33 out of 138 women in my age group. I ranked 143 out of all 757 females and placed 743 out of over 2000 people. Now I know that is not elite standards by any means but this is GOLD for me. This course was awful and fun all at the same time. There was horse shit EVERYWHERE, mud was like quicksand, and it was just crazy gross but I LOVED every minute of it. I overcame so many things that used to give me trouble. This was the best race of my LIFE!!! The sense of accomplishment was UNREAL!!! I did ROPE climb y’all. 12 or so races and that rope has kicked my ass every time. Last weekend I gave that rope the middle finger, made my way up and rang that bell! I did Hercules hoist… almost by myself. I got the sandbag  half way up before I got some help. I normally can’t get it off the ground. I did atlas carry with no help. I nailed the monkey bars. I made it up every wall (had help on a few) I only missed spear throw and the rig. I DONT CARE THOUGH because I accomplished so much in those 2 hours. Everyone was like “Did you go out?? Did you celebrate?” Uhhh no I went to my room and ate my Frenchy’s chicken, showered and washed my gear, went downstairs for a drink, and then was sleep before 6p. It was just supposed to be a nap… Slept a full 13 hours!!! HA!! Look at the pictures you guys… Can you blame me?!?!?!?!

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Sunday rolls around and I get to spend time with my beautiful awesome cousins!!! So much fun and laugher. My body is still hurting and I just want to sleep this upcoming weekend away. I have plans for Saturday morning and then its back to bed I go!!! YES LAWD!! I was never really a sporty child. When I tried I just ended up being horrible and uncoordinated at everything…except for gymnastics. At 34 I have found a sport that I really do enjoy. I am not out there competing with anyone but myself. I am out there because regular running is the most boring thing in the world for my ADD. This keeps my attention and challenges me on a whole other level. For those who said I couldn’t, all I have to say is this : WATCH ME!!!

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Always finish with a smile

Oh Mah Gah

Now I don’t get sick often. I have my regular allergy problems but who doesn’t. I have never had the flu. If I catch colds they don’t last long. When I do get sick though… Its like DEATH!!! I have caught a few viruses here and there and they damn near take me out!!! Something else that I don’t get all the time: Headaches. I can’t tell you the last time I had a crazy headache… Wait yes I can. It was like 2 years ago and it was because I was having caffeine withdrawal.  ANYWAY… Today was the day that I had a WICKED headache. I mean it was so bad that I thought I was going to pass out or throw up in the middle of Whole Foods!!! My head was pounding and my stomach was churning and I started getting light headed. All I could do was bend over my shopping cart and pray… and take deep breaths. He was looking out because I didnt get sick, pass out, or die but MAN it was like tiny river dance people were having a show down in my skull. The slightest movement had me clutching my head with both hands. Aspirin didnt work, Aleve took FOREVER. My mood was foul and I just felt like cow poop today. The headache has slowly gone away and now Im starving but too lazy to get up. My body just wants to sleep but my stomach is saying “FEED ME HEFFA” I guess its apples and peanut butter kind of night.

Im Ready

This past weekend I had the awesome pleasure of running Warrior Dash with my childhood friend. We drove from Dallas to Austin and IT.WAS.AWESOME!!! We laughed, car danced (Will explain later), ate, raced, got dirty, laughed some more, and continued to laugh. The race was almost 4 miles and it was AMAZING!!   It was like old times!!! Warrior Dash wasn’t hard but it was crap tons of fun!!! I have another race this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited to get my ass kicked. Spartan Races attract a special kind of crazy. We look forward to the torture, cuss the entire time we are running because it SUCKS and then when we jump over that fire pit we try to hurry to find the next race. It takes a special kind of stupid to keep doing this. Whats crazy is that I look forward to the sore muscles and bruises. They are like badges of honor. After every race I look like Holyfield beat the crap out of me in the boxing ring. For some reason we look forward to this shit! Who’d does that?? I told you we were a special kind of crazy.  Lets pray that all goes well.

That One Question

The question that I get asked a lot is “So when are you getting married and having babies??” My question is: Why are you so concerned with my marital status and Uterus?!?!?! Why does it matter. Can’t you embrace my singleness with me?? Do I look like I need a man and a kid? I watch kids for a living so I am really not in a rush to have my own. Then I get “But you are getting older” Ok and your point?!? Let me be happy embracing my fun, no attachment life!!! I am at a point in my life where I am really not trying to please anyone. I am FINALLY at a point where I think “You know what?? This isn’t so bad” Sure all of my friends who are my age and YOUNGER are happily married with 1.5 kids or 2.5 or whatever. Sure they get to netflix and chill(the for real chill) on a regular. Sure they have someone to ask “Hey babe how was your day?” Sure they just have someone there. BUT I can guaran-damn-tee that they don’t get to sleep star fish style in bed surrounded by ALLLLL the pillows. I bet they don’t get to just get to go out on a whim just because “To hell with it I want to!!!” Did I mention sleeping starfish style with all the pillows already?? I’m sorry but that is a HUGE selling point in my “Great being single booklet” Do I want to get married? Yes. I’m not going to rush it though. When the time is right it will be right. Do I want kids? Sure… wait… As long as its before Im 36. I don’t want to be an old ass mom. I want to be able to keep up with my kids without throwing my back out every 15 minutes. (For those of you who were older when you had kids; MORE POWER TO YOU. Its not me though). If you want me to get married and have kids so badly then why don’t you hop on the “TEAM SINGLE IN BROOKLYN” bandwagon and find me a great guy?? (Please consult with me first so I can give you a list of what I am looking for mmmk?? Thanks)

I Hate You

Today was a decent day. It wasn’t super stellar but it wasn’t craptastic either. To end my day on a high note, I hit the gym. I like working out but I HATE the treadmill. Hate is a strong word. You should never hate anything but I.HATE.THE.TREADMILL… Point.Blank.Period. It is the dullest thing on the planet Earth!!! How people run on that damn thing for longer than 30 minutes beats the hell out of me. I would rather watch paint dry than run on a treadmill. Today I pushed myself and listened to my Pastors podcast. That got me to 20 minutes. I walked five at no incline. Sped up the pace to a fast walk at a 6 incline and then I pumped it up to a 15 incline and put my pace up to a super fast “granny walking with her walk group in the mall” fast. The last 5 minutes was cool down.  While going through this torture, my pastors sermon had me totally engaged!!! LOVE #crossroadstx. 2o minutes of treadmill is all I could take but the important thing here is that I lasted a whopping 20 minutes on a machine that I have NO love for. The treadmill probably doesn’t love me either and I am FINE with that.