That Moment When…

That moment when all you want to eat is stuff that is super salty followed by stuff that is super sweet. Next week is going to be a doozy.

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Get Over It

I am a person that loves to stay active. I work out. I play hard and will try any adventure once. Wait ALMOST any adventure. Anyway I am NOT that person that feels like my life is over if I don’t make it to the gym. I have not been to the gym in almost two weeks. I have done some sit ups and squats here and there but thats about it. I have done absolutely NOTHING this week gym wise and I am totally ok with that. Sometimes I feel guilty but then I get over it. It’s not something that I flip out for. Some people live and breathe the gym but I am not one of them. When I feel like it I do it and when I don’t…  I just don’t. The past two weeks have been long. Not bad, just long. The last thing I want to do is hit the gym. And now I have sharp pains going on in my lower back so you can bet all your cash that I am NOT going to the gym. I am so happy sitting here eating a box of cheese nips and a bag of sweet tarts… I am drinking a ton of water though so I feel that balances it out… a little… ok maybe not. Oh well. I will pick up my gym routine again… Just not at this very moment.

Old Age

You know you are getting old when you complain about your back hurting. I have grabbed my lower back at least 5 times today and every time I think” OH MAH GAH I look like someones grandmama right now”  All I need is a ratty house dress (all grandmama’s had one) Some pink sponge rollers, some run over slide on pink house shoes, and fly swatter. HA!!!! “GO SAT DOWN SOMEWHERE!!! You bet not be in my garden!!! Hey… Hey… damn it   I threw my back out again!!”

See its stuff like this that makes me wish I wasn’t single. If had a boyfriend I could plan a hot date of take out Chinese food, old sweat pants and lover boy giving me a killer back massage while I watch Lilo and Stich II.

Thug Tears

So I don’t know if I mentioned this at any point but I am a nanny. I nanny a little boy who is 2 years old. My day consists of toys, toys, children songs, and more toys. Throw in kids nap time, meals and maybe a fit or two and that is my typical day. Well today Disney songs were on Pandora… Look it beats listening to Copa Cabana on repeat (Dont ask). The song that came on was from the movie “Lilo and Stitch”. I can’t lie you guys and tell you that I didn’t LOVE that movie because I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie!!!  Well as this song is playing, I had a flashback to my senior year in college.  Lets go down memory lane shall we:

Its a Friday night and I have had a craptastic day at work and I think I may have bombed a test that I studied really hard for (abnormal psychology… HARDEST TEACHER EVER) The next two days were FREEDOM for me. So what did I do at 1130 at night?? I went to target and bought the Lilo and Stitch II. Its totally what you do when you have the first one. I get home and plug it in. Now picture a 25 year old woman sitting in the middle of her living room floor still in work clothes and eating a giant bowl of popcorn. Well its almost the end of the movie and Stitch basically dies. OH MAH GAH you would have thought someone shot my dog!! I was sitting in the middle of my living room SOBBING because I thought Stitch was dead. ITS A CARTOON… and me being the mature 25 year old that I was just started SOBBING. I called my boyfriend and he was freaking out “What happened?? Are you hurt?? Did something happen at school?? I can’t get to you babe!!! Im on base( military guy)!!! OH DAMN WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!” After I was able to control the hiccups and sobs I was able to manage “Stitch died!” and then started wailing all over again. Here is what happened after

Boyfriend: Wait…What?!?!?!

Me: Stitch died **more sobs and hiccups**

Boyfriend: As in the cartoon?? Are you shitting me right now??

Me: Im serious!!! **wiping snot and tears and still have hiccups**

Boyfriend: I can’t believe…

Me: Oh wait never mind he lived!! THEY SAVED HIM!!! **laughing through my tears** Ok gotta go bye!!!

Lets fast forward to today: I busted out laughing and the little boy looked at me like “WHAT THE HELL?” I like to remember that day as me shedding thug tears. No grown woman sobs over a dying cartoon character. So I will chalk it up to “Thug tears” and call it a day… Does that make me strange? Is this why I am still single?? Because I can tell you now every time I see that movie and it gets to that part;I still get a little weepy. I don’t sob anymore… My eyes just tear up a little bit.

What Not to do

Do not… I repeat DO NOT listen to Maxwell when you are having a “feel sorry for myself because I am single” moment. Have you listened to him?? Have you heard this mans voice?? Have you listened to his lyrics?!?!?! **heart melt moment** His songs are what you listen to when you are in a relationship. His songs are for the “sexy times” with your ONE. His songs are NOT meant to be listened to when you are cleaning your room feeling sad that you have no one to have “sexy time” with. And then to make matters worse his music just makes you think “Dude I really need to get laid” **looks at calendar and its 4 years and counting… face palm**

No Snow Day For Me

I woke up this morning to Meatloaf… Not the meatloaf that you eat, but the fat white guy with greasy hair and a great voice. A houseguest (not mine) woke up and while making smoothies for everyone, decided to blast Meatloaf at 8 in the morning. No sleeping in for me **pulls pillow over face to scream** WHAT IN ALL THE LIVING HELL?!?!?! Guess that means time to start my day. Starting my day consisted of swallowing two large bowls of fruit loops while finishing a book on my kindle. So as I sat wondering “Why can’t I get a snow day??” I looked at my growing pile of laundry It was like the leaning tower of Pisa.  Instead of a leaning tower of bricks, its an assortment of underwear, bras, some socks, sweats and jeans. Throw in a sweater or two and you have my entire winter wardrobe. That only means one thing: Time to venture out to the laundromat. Have you ever pulled a wire cart chucked full of laundry through GIANT snow drifts??? Let me tell you… IT SUCKS!!!! Now when going to do laundry in the winter, I always dress in my sexiest attire: Old sweatpants, ratty sweatshirt, rain boots, puffy coat and red fuzzy hat with floppy ears. SEXY SEXY! Oh and of course there is the no makeup and my hair braided under my hat. If this doesn’t scream “TAKE ME NOW ROMEO” then I don’t know what to tell you.

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Thats one sexy red hat isn’t it???

While my laundry is washing I am NOT the person that can just sit and wait for it. Remember what I said about the short attention span? THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! So that means time to venture out for food because food makes everything WONDERMOUS! I always have to find somewhere cool to eat and being in Brooklyn everything is cool. So not only do I get to be in my sexiest attire, but I also get to enjoy a great breakfast and drink while people watching

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Some kind of refreshing whisky drink that was AMAZING
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Bacon… Need I say more

I people watch ALL THE TIME. I wonder if people look at me at times and think the same off the wall things that I think when I am people watching?? So I am sitting and enjoying my drink when a little girl and her mom stop so the girl can play in the giant snow drifts. She is dressed head to toe in pink. She was like a pink marshmallow. She even had on little  pink glasses. She was maybe about 3 or 4 years old. Anyway she is playing in the snow and the mom looked off just for a quick second. In that split second, little pink marshmallow picked up a giant handful of yellow snow AND LICKED IT!!! Mom FREAKED OUT!!! I almost spit out my eggs I was laughing so hard. This single life ins’t so bad. While being single I could care less what I look like when running errands. I know when I meet the ONE all of that might change. The key word there is “Might” Hopefully the one will enjoy dressing tacky with me. GOOD DAY WORLD!!!

Blizzard Fun

So remember earlier when I said it was a mini blizzard? I was totally not lying. The snow has not stopped. The boredom finally set in and my roommate and I decided to make a night of it. What did we do? We suited up and went out and it was SOOOO much fun!!! Snow angels, drinking and old school arcade games. This is what being single in Brooklyn is all about!!!!

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This is what we walked out to
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Then we ended up playing this game for HOURS
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There was laughter and cussing… but more laughter than cussing.
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And this is the face of of someone having the best time ever being single in Brooklyn!!! 

I can not and will not complain. This blizzard has been AMAZING!!! I am now back in my room, curled up under my blankets while scanning Netflix to find something interesting to watch. Well played Blizzard. Well played.