This is the Life

There is a mini blizzard going on outside. No seriously there is a shit ton of snow blowing around right now.  Its pretty awesome. What am I doing? I am sitting in the middle of my bed, curled up in sweats while eating a giant bowl of fruit loops and drinking coffee. Sorry for the run on sentence there. ANYWAY I really can’t complain about much right now. This moment right here is what being single is about!!!I know if I was dating someone right now it would be “Babe. Seriously fruit loops and coffee??” and my answer would be “HELL YEH… Want some?? SIKE!!!”

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Happiness

In high school  I never dated. I had crushes but guys didn’t like me. I was REALLY awkward and handled it by just keeping to myself. The guys I liked never liked me back or they did like me until they found out I wasn’t easy. I had my first kiss my freshman year in college and so on and so on. I am 34 and have had 2 boyfriends my entire life. I can count on one hand how many people I have slept with. I haven’t had the most stellar dating life. I am really picky but the guys that I have dated are NOTHING and I mean NOTHING like what I look for in guys. I basically settled because “someone liked me”. I always assumed that having a boyfriend would bring me this ultimate happiness. Now that I think about it… I was nowhere NEAR happy with the dudes I dated. I wasn’t even happy with the handful of guys that I have slept with. So now I am in Brooklyn,single, and basically starting over in all aspects of life and I have learned to find my own happiness. (Best year and a half of my LIFE) I have to be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else. I have to be able to make myself happy before I can make someone else happy.  I have found so much happiness in life the past year and a half and I am doing it BY  MYSELF. There is no man making any of this possible. I have also figured that dropping my standards will not make me happy either. So I will continue to keep my high standards and be happy with my life until the RIGHT ONE comes along. I am not perfect by any means and I have some things that I still need to work out in my life… like budgeting… Where the hell does my money go?!?!?!? **scratches head in confusion** Oh yeh… Rent, takeout and OCR. Take out wins EVERY TIME though. I can order breakfast, lunch and dinner without leaving the comforts of my super fluffy pillows and quilt. If that doesn’t spell happiness then I dont know what does. But getting back on topic… budgeting is a weak spot for me. My attention span is also short. ADD is real!!!! Then there is my relationship with God that I tend to put on the back burner a lot. It’s not that I don’t have a relationship with Him. It’s just that I only give Him a little bit of my time instead of the FULL amount that is deserved. See I know my weaknesses. I know where I need to improve and I believe that is part of the reason I am still single. **Shrugs**  The other reason… I haven’t figured that out yet. All I know is that I will continue to be happy in this holding place. I will continue to explore and grow and evolve… Can I still order takeout morning, noon and night though???? Does anything about this post make sense? It all makes sense in my head. Its all adds up to happiness… THE END

Closet Romantic

I walk around like I could care less about romance but the truth is… I am the BIGGEST sap on the planet. I am a hopeless romantic at heart. Don’t get it twisted… I still can’t do the cheesy pet names and extreme PDA. That crap makes me want to throat punch someone but I LOVE a great rom-com, or a romance novel (not the cheesy historical ones). I can’t tell you how many  romantic dramas have left me in tears… Literally sitting in the middle of my bed, wearing oversized sweats (Thats how I roll) and wrapped in my quilt SOBBING because of a super romantic moment or maybe the love ended because someone died (Nicholas Sparks… EVERY MOVIE). I live my nonexistent love life through romantic comedies and romance novels. What does that mean?? This seriously can’t be my life as a 34 year old can it?? Apparently I am supposed to be on a date every Friday and Saturday… Uhhh  yeh that is so not happening. Dating websites, dating apps, and all that jazz  is for the birds. All the weirdos stalk me on there and totally kills the chance of me wanting to stay on and continue to sift through mess.  So I guess until I meet Mr. Right… I will continue to sit in the middle of my bed watching rom-coms on netflix while eating a bag of chips and box of ice cream bars. For some reason this sounds more promising.

What do you talk about?

You ever have that moment when you are talking to your crush on the phone and all of a sudden you run out of things to talk about?? You end up with that super awkward silence. You can basically hear crickets and the other person breathing. “Sooooo um yeh how bout that snow outside today?” How do you keep conversations interesting and exciting? Do you resort to corny knock knock jokes? Do you try to fill the awkward silence with mindless conversation or do you just cut to the chase: “Welp I have run out of things to talk about so I will talk to you tomorrow. Good night” But wait a minute… I just totally showed my age by saying “Talk on the phone to your crush” Do people still use phones anymore?? Its all Facebook, texting, Skype and face time. Hell I think emailing is even becoming outdated!!!