Hi… I’m Brie

What’s up good people of the world?!?!?! So the past couple of months I have been in a crazy “no gym” slump. Ive had a lot of work travel and then when I’m not working there is no motivation to get off my ass. None. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA. ZERO. NOOOOOOONE. I have done NOTHING!!!! Im actually going to cancel my gym membership because I haven’t been using it and I feel that’s 25 dollars that I can use elsewhere… Like for takeout!!!

Anyway last night while waiting for sleep to take over, my mind went to body shamming.  Not the “you’re a fat blob of crap” kind because I know I’m not fat but the “Dude… really Khrys??? Look at this shit. You can not be skinny and loose skinned at the same time. Yes… Yes those are dimples and you have a lot of them. Abs??? Haven’t seen those in a hot minute have you??” Yeh it’s that kind of body shamming. Ugggggh. While in this state of talking to myself the thought of “Im like Brie Cheese” came up.

Ok let me explain this theory:

Everyone is cool with Brie. No one really hates it but sometimes people can do without it. The people that love Brie LOOOOOOOOVE Brie. Its the best cheese of all the cheeses!!!! Brie makes people happy!!! Brie also has this weird hard shell on the outside but when you open it… its all gooey and soft.

Khrys… What in all the hell does this have to do with you?? You lost me…. Let me bring this full circle. I am one of those people that people like. I don’t think anyone really hates me but there are people that are totally cool with me not being invited to the party. That’s fine because I feel that way about 90% of the people I am around as well. **shrugs** My feelings are soooo not hurt by this. Let’s continue shall we? Like Brie… I feel that I make people smile. It’s the flip side to my asshole persona. I can be the life of the tiny friend circle. I am always  full of jokes, weird stories, and smart ass come backs. When dressed, I look like my body is totally put together!! Give me a good pair of nike compression leggings and my shit looks TIGHT!!!! I look like a fucking athletic beast. But then I strip naked and my shit is all soft and pudgy like Brie Cheese!!! It is NOT CUTE!!!

I’ve really gotta get my shit together and FAST!!! I always go through this summer slump. I never really hop back on the gym rat band wagon until around July sometime. It doesn’t take much to get the body back in gear… It’s just the actual steps taken to get the ball rolling that’s hard. I’ll get there though and hopefully sooner rather than later.

Treat Cho Self

Yes ladies and gentlemen… Wait a minute ,why did I sound like something from the Idlewild soundtrack just then?? Probably because the bar that I am sitting in just played an Outkast song from that wondermous soundtrack. I’m sitting in a bar by myself living my best goshdamn life right now. Some plans kind of fell through for the evening (no surprise to me) so I said “FUCK IT… TREAT CHO SELF GIRL!!!” So here I sit at a bar seeing how many margaritas it’s going to take to put me in that blissful buzz of wonder and amazingness. I’ve literally just started but I am starting early.  I was going to go see the boyfriend perform but the tickets that were reserved for guests were kind of taken back so people who were actually paying could have a seat. Sucks ass doesn’t it?? Yup that was my thought too. **shrugs** I was kind of pissed off… Still kind of pissed off. I was  going to take a nap but instead I sage’d my house, lit a candle under my lemon/mint oil and ran the hottest bath in life, soaked and lost myself in thoughts and bubbles. ALL.OF.THE.BUBBLES. I had great plans of throwing on my sweats and cleaning my apartment but I ended up sitting on my couch for 2 hours wrapped in nothing but a towel watching a stupid movie (Story of my life HAHA) But then I ended up having a conversation with myself in my head (I do this a lot)

Me: Uggggggh what are you doing girl?? Get up

Also Me: But there is something to be said about sitting on the couch.

Me: No Ma’am!!! GET UP

Also Me: I don’t wanna

Me: Heffa if you don’t get cho ass up off this couch and go treat cho self!!!

Also Me: What am I going to do?? God this couch is comfy. You sure I need to get up??

Me: What I say?? GET UP!!! Let’s find something cute to put on, lets do up the eyes and paint those lips red girl!!! We are NOT being a sad ass today. NOT. TA-DAY!!!

Also Me: But what are we going to do?? It’s still early… Did I mention that my couch is comfy

Me: Say something else about this damn couch… I dare you… Now get up. Let’s go!!! We are drinking Sister!!!! Let’s do this!!!!

Also Me: Fine but I’m not combing my hair.

Me: Then you better do something cute with it then. You hear me?!?!?!?!

Also Me: FINE!!! But I better be happily buzzed when I leave wherever you send me.

Me: Consider it done my friend. Consider IT.DONE

 

So after this really long conversation with myself, I got off my ass, put on my favorite comfy dress, put on some makeup , tied the hair up and then googled bars in my area. I came across a bar I had been wanting to try for a while called Union Hall. So far so good.

FAST FORWARD

 

Alright. Drink 1 set the stage. Basic margarita. I ordered some fries but they weren’t all that great. Drink 2 was a Bloody Mary and it was BOMB!!!  That was the chill drink meaning: sit back and watch all the drunk asses play bocce ball like they are at the gosh damn olympics. They were so damn SERIOUS ABOUT THIS GAME. DUDE… YOU ARE AT A BAR and you are all drunk… why so serious about the sport… THATS IN A BAR!!!!  Then the good music came on. It was like Tribe Called Quest night and I sang EVERY SONG!!! Drink 3 was another Bloody Mary and that one did me in.  Sun was still out and I was LIT!!! My world started to tilt and I was like “Yup time to go!!!” But not before I saw people trying to two step to Tribe Called Quest. You don’t even have to ask if they were black or white. **shrugs** I’m just stating facts. Anyway I figured “I need an Italian ice. so I stopped at the Uncle Luigis place across from the bar. It was empty as hell and they were mopping and putting things away so of course I asked “You guys still open?” The girl goes “Yes… Didn’t you see the open sign??” NOPE BECAUSE I’M DRUNK and not paying attention!!!” I got my Italian ice and took 3 bites before throwing it away. It wasn’t good and that kind of hurt my feelings. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I made my way home only to strip out of my cute clothes, throw on sweats, pop a bag of popcorn and then pass the hell out on my couch. I got a good 3 hour nap in!! Woke up like “Shit I hope I didn’t text anyone.” My mom called and I had to sober up fast because she had me on FaceTime!!! THE HELL MOM!?!?!?!?! **face palm**

Hope everyone is having a great day, week, month and year. 38 is still going awesomely strong for me and I CAN NOT complain. HAPPY TIMES FOLKS!!!

Good Bye 37

Well you guys… the time has come for me to say good bye to 37. 37 years on this Earth. HOLY SHIT!!! I am just shy of 40 now. SAY WHHHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

37 has been a year of many lows and a lot of highs.  37 was a year of challenges for me emotionally. I didn’t really share a lot of it with the world because “Khrys always has a smile”. But there was a HUGE chunk of time in there when I wasn’t smiling. 37 was a year of proving to myself “You can do this!!” 37 was a year of change. 37 was a year of love and heart break and love again. 37 was a year of challenges: spiritual, mental and physical.  37 was a year of letting people in after being closed off FOR YEARS. 37 was the year of the “FUCK IT” mentality.

I bought 37 in… in tears. I had had a shitty day at work and was drained in every way possible and I cried… the entire day and then when I got home from work and my friends sang happy birthday to me; I busted into tears and couldn’t stop. I trucked through it though.

At 37 I lead my first Ragnar Relay team. That challenged me in every freaking way possible. 2 team members dropped out at the last minute which left us with 6 instead of 8 and we each ran close to 30 miles in a little over 24 hour period. That challenged my mind and my body and even though it FUCKING SUCKED (the nicest way to describe it) It was still greatness. I fought through frustrations, pain, weakness, and wanting to quit. I finished that race in tears because I couldn’t believe what I had accomplished. I had pushed myself past what I THOUGHT my physical and mental limits were. I was a got damn BEAST!!

 

At 37 I found love… on a dating app. Who knew?!?!?! Two people who are totally opposite found love. Yin and Yang for real. He’s the talkative, super social outgoing one. Im the introverted, social when I have to be, not so outgoing one. I am the truck through mud and ruck for miles and miles outdoors and he is the one that wouldn’t be caught dead doing that crap. I love camping and the outdoors. He would rather be in a really nice hotel with a working toilet. I like to break shit, tinker, take things apart, and then put things together… He would rather pay someone to do it. I act first and think about it later… He thinks it ALL THE WAY through and then THINKS about acting on it.  But we fit. **shrugs** Now none of this love shit has been easy and even now as I type, we are trying to figure shit out. Due to our chaotic schedules and work and life, I thought ending it and just being friends would be the way to go. He said “NOPE!!! We are working this out. Please lets work this out.” So right now as I sit here and type all of this out… We are trying to figure all of this out.

At 37 I am continuing to grow spiritually. I have more conversations with God. I spend more quiet time with God. I feel like I am trying to figure everything out for myself and not from what I hear. I’m trying to feel more and learn from a different place than the church pew. I have questions now at 37 and believe that there is more to all of this than whats seen. I do believe in God. I also believe that God lives in all of us and directs our paths… Its up to us to listen or to reject it. I believe that God is the Universe and I do my best to listen and learn. I believe that my ancestors talk to me. I believe that they watch over me and I believe that they protect me. I feel energy. I receive energy and I reject energy. All of this to say… I’m still learning.

At 37 I quit my job of 5 years. It was time and out of fear I held on for longer than I should have. There came a point though when I broke. My mind, body and spirit broke. It was my sign to move on. That I had completed my assignment and that it was time for me to help someone else. When you stay longer than necessary, there is nothing more for you to do  or that you can do and it takes a toll on you. I took a new job that has replenished me. It’s not easy but I have fun and its an amazing energy all around. I am needed. God puts me in places where I am needed. I never know how long I am going to be at a place because it’s not up to me. When my assignment is done then I am moved to a new one. Right now I am needed and I am making a difference. I always ask God “Let me be a light. Wherever you move me… Let me be a light. A blessing. ” And that’s what I am right now and I know this because every day I get the message “Thanks Keeks!! You’re the best”

At 37 I cut my hair off… again. I needed change. I needed to let go of the old and bring the spice back into my life. I cut a good 7 inches of hair!! There is something about doing something different to your hair that makes you feel brand spanking new. Working a new short blonde bob… Bay-Be you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t fly!!! I walked around like my shit didn’t stink… until I washed it and my hair shrunk up to nothing and I was walking around looking like someone named Ms. Shirley: head of the usher board at Greater Zion Church of God and Christ. But its grown out so  I no longer look like Shirley. HAHAHA!!

At 37 I decided that I was going to throw caution to the wind and really kick up my writing. I’ve now written 3 manuscripts for a children’s book series and have gotten a great following on my instagram: 7thavestories. I want to write for a living. Having published children’s books would a freaking dream come true!!! It is going to happen for me. I do not know when but I do know that it is going to happen.

37 was not my easiest year but I grew so much as a person. Everything that I struggled with was a test for me to overcome. You learn from your trials. You learn from your mistakes and you take those lessons and apply them to the next adventure. I feel like I accomplished everything and nothing at all… at the same damn time.

38… I have NO IDEA what is in store for me but I do know that I am walking into this new year of life with a big ass smile on my face and an amazing outlook on my future. I have a great group of people behind me every step of the way.  I am excited to see what new adventures await. I am excited to see what all I will accomplish. I am once again excited about life and what it has in store for me. 38… Im ready for you!!

Always and Forevvvvverrrrrr…

Hey hey hey blogosphere!!!!! What it do???  I have had the best week ever and I feel that I should let you all know about it. Why?? Because it was that damn awesome!!! Work was great as always even though it was somewhat hectic with travel and then summer relocation. Thats alright though because I love my job.

What made the rest of my week so amazing?? Two words April & Rima. YAAAAAS HONEY!!!

The three of us met freshman year of college and have been friends ever since. We have seen each other through all of the highs and lows that life has handed out. We have seen each other through life changes, additions, subtractions, new careers, EVERYTHING!!! Now with getting older and jumping  into life, we haven’t kept in touch everyday but with social media the way it is, we follow each other as best we can.  Well a few months ago we decided that the girls trip was going to be NYC based. They had never been and I live here so it was easy!!! They got here on Wednesday and explored my hood while I was at work. I got home at 1030 that night and it was SHENANIGANS from that point on. NON.STOP. It was like time had stood still and moved forward all at the same time. Magic is the only way to describe it.

The cool thing about us is that we are all TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!! Our personalities are on totally different parts of the spectrum however we all mesh like the best damn PB&J sandwich EVER!! In every picture and video that we did our personalities could be seen. We bought the same shirt but just in different colors and hell even that matched our personalities!!! Lets break the group down for you…

April

 

April is the mother of the group. The protector. Out of the three she is the really serious one but she will make you laugh until you pee because her energy is on 100000000 at all times.  She fights first and asks questions later. She’s got a really really big heart and a HUGE laugh. April is one of those people that you will hear before you see. You might not see her but that voice is one of a kind and the ABSOLUTE life of the party.

Rima

Rima is the sensitive one of the group. She has a heart of gold  and has a sunny disposition at all times. She is the one that you LEAST expect to have really dirty humor or foul language. ALWAYS catches people off guard… Hell even us!!! We never see it coming and when it does you can hear April say “Damn it Rima!!!!” Rima is the one that thinks before acting. She’s slightly cautious but so far as I know me and April are the only two who can talk her into crazy stuff.

Then there is me

I am the GOOF of the group. Each one of us brings our own sense of humor. April has the in your face humor. Rima has the quiet humor and I’m the really dry stupid humor. I’m the wild card of the group.  I act first and ask no questions. I’m the one that jumps ass first into EVERYTHING!!! You can normally hear April saying “Got damn it Khrys!!!”  I’m the middle ground of the group. Not super sensitive but not thug life(even though I believe I’m a true thug).

You mix us together and get awesomeness!!! POINT.BLANK.PERIOD!!!

To start our tour we decided we were going to walk though Brooklyn. We walked around Park Slope, hit a a breakfast spot near prospect park, then made our way to Fort Greene and Bed Stuy and eventually Brooklyn Bridge. Now nothing we did was without commentary or a song. We had a soundtrack for everything!!! EVERY-THING!!! EV-ER-Y THING!!!! April is the queen of finding a song and Rima is queen of background vocals. I’m always a little late or totally off but most of the time I’m the one laughing.

Exhibit A:

 

Back to semi regular programming:  We woke semi early and downed a wonderful amount of coffee before heading out for breakfast.

After coffee it was time for food because there was NO FOOD at my apartment!!! Little snacks here and there but I have been traveling a lot for work soooo yeh no point to stay stocked up. Anyway after we enjoyed great food, and random song breaks we made our way to Fort Green, but first we stopped for a donut because I wanted a donut.  As we walked and explored Fort Green, we had to stop here: We also stopped at a place called Moshood. It’s a black owned African apparel store in Fort Green and the guy that runs it is amazing. Now April never goes anywhere without making a friend. Y’all by the time we left that store, April was calling Moshood “Cousin”!!! I think he loved us… especially April because  who doesn’t love her?!?!?! We walked out of Moshood and trucked our way to Bed Stuy because of this

From there we caught the train back home, rested for 5 minutes, charged our phones and then went back out to walk the Brooklyn Bridge.

 

We walked and walked and walked some more. By the time we finished the Brooklyn Bridge we were just a little hungry. I had to take them to my happy place. Where is that?? JACOBS PICKLES!!!!! We made it at an awesome time because we were seated right away and our waiter Corinne was BOMB!!! Music was on and popping and the three of us proceeded to give the patrons of the establishment the best karaoke EVER!!!! We were the life of the restaurant!!! Me and Rima loved our beverages a little too much BUT YA ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!! We were there for I know a good 3 hours… possibly longer. We kept saying “Ok we are leaving after this song…” but then another great song would come on and we would continue our show!!!! We were singing and rapping like our lives depended on it, like we were auditioning for American Idol, like we BELONGED on Start Search!!! The kicker was that none of us knew the all the words to the songs. We knew bits and pieces and what we didn’t know… we hummed the hell out of it!!!! BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO!!!! FINALLY we left Jacobs Pickles but not before we were thanked by EVERY waiter and hostess in there. We made it back home, checked our step tracker (12.1 miles and 20 something thousand steps later) and sat up and talked until almost 3am. We talked about EVERYTHING!!!! That’s what’s so great about us. We can go from goofy, to serious, and back to goofy just like that!!! Freaking amazing!!!  My eyes were closing and I was almost sleep but I heard Rima sing one last song before she crashed. Yes y’all… she was still singing at almost 3am!!!

Day 2

Day started with eating leftovers and drinking GIANT cups of coffee. Our mission for the day: SEE LADY LIBERTY, hit CONEY ISLAND and there was something else that we were supposed to do but I can’t think of it at the moment. But first we had to take pictures in our matching Moshood shirts:

 

Going to see Lady Liberty was fun but the most fun was when we hopped back off the ferry. We walked around Battery Park and walked through a maze of street markets. SUPER FUN!!!!! Hunger set in a few minutes later and we hit up Clinton Hall for good grub and drinks. I was the only one who drank though(got me out here looking like a lush!!!) I did eat a big ass salad though that was AMAZING!!!! It came in a giant beer stein and it was gosh damn magic!!!

 

From Clinton Hall we went to one of the most magical places you could ever visit… Coney Island!!!! Man listen… I think this right here was the HIGHLIGHT of the entire two days of outings!!!!! This right here was the FUCKING ICING ON THE MAGICAL CAKE!!!!

 

I figured since it was their first time coming to NYC and of course their first time at Coney… what better way to say “WELCOME TO NY” than a spin on the wonder wheel.  Man listen… I WISH I could put the videos on here but I didn’t pay for that blog package so all you guys get are the pictures. I knew it was going to be hilarious. What went down on the wonder wheel exceeded my expectations by 1050404594095 times!!!!!

 

There was cussing, there was prayer, there were old church hymns being sung…not me. I was in tears from laughing so hard. All this extra stuff came from them. Then I figured… we made it through the wonder wheel, lets do two other rides. One was called the soaring eagle and the other was some kind of raging stallion or something like that.

I had to BEG Rima to go on this ride. Well… It wasn’t really begging. It was more “No. You are going on this ride. We gangstas Rima. THUGS!!! Thugs ain’t scared of roller coasters. We got this!!!” She took a deep breath and said “Fine. Lets do it.” We paid, swiped our cards and then walked up to this awesomeness. They strapped us and up we went. Now on this ride you are laying on your stomach so you are soaring like an eagle.  Man listen. We took off and I busted out laughing. Me and April are on the ends and Rima was in the middle. I’m cracking up, April is yelling “OHHHH SHIT!!!” and then there was Rima. Rima was a mixture of laughing, sobbing and snot. Like she was crying real tears even though she was laughing (a little). LAWD JESUS!!!! PULL IT TOGETHER RIMA!!!

After the eagle ride, we ran to the stallion ride and again… I was no good.  We got buckled in. April was in front and Rima and I were behind her. April talked much smack… Until that buzzer went off and it took off at the speed of light. All I saw was Aprils head snap back and I was DONE!!! Again… I WAS.NO.GOOD!!! NONE!!!! I am SOOOOOOO happy that I peed before hitting those rides because baby I would have left a Khrys mark on every ride if I hadn’t!!!

There is something about your true true friends that bring the best out of you. There is something about being with those who have known you since the JUMP that replenishes your soul. These two angels gave me a fresh breath of life. There was a new energy that was present and it was something that my soul needed. Us being back together was something that I think all three of us needed. We needed to be able to let go of the bullshit and just be those fun loving 18- 19 year olds that we used to be. When you grow up and move on with life sometimes you lose that spark, that fun energy… that “I CAN DO EVERYTHING” swag. I don’t think that we lost it… I think that there was just a lot of dust covering it and it needed to be blown away. The past two days was a reminder to me of what sisterhood really is. What true TRUE friendship is and what it stands for. Three people living three totally different lives, three TOTALLY DIFFERENT personalities… showing the WORLD what fun loving, amazing black women look like. I will never ever forget this girls trip. This my friends is ONLY the beginning. This was the start of a new tradition. Watch out world… You ain’t ready for this jelly!!!!