The people that are closest to me know that I LOVE music. I always have. I grew up listening to a variety of genres. I remember rocking my moms Sting and the Police cassette in my strawberry shortcake boombox when I was five( Yeh I was THAT super cool kid). I listened to hip hop, R&B, Rock, classic rock, funk, old school, and a LOT of jazz. When I hit jr. high I was introduced to punk and grunge. Music gives me life and I cannot function without it. It can hype me up for a great workout, get me ready for a night of dancing with friends, calm me down from wanting to punch someone in the throat, make me remember the past and sometimes put me in a zone to where I am imagining my future. My dad is a musician and ALL of his friends are musicians soooooo music has ALWAYS been a part of my life. I can NOT play an instrument though. I have ridiculously long fingers so everyone thinks I can play piano… I can’t. I have no musical talent. I can’t sing either… Ohhhh but I try really really hard when I am alone. (I know I am not the only one. Don’t judge me). Right now I am listening to Esperanza Spalding. All of her albums give me my entire life back. OH MAH GAH!!! The girl is AMAZING and her new album has me jamming day in and day out. I LOVE jazz. It makes me happy and it relaxes me. I can thank my dad for that. Listening to jazz on pandora is like being 10 again and going to his gigs when I didn’t have a baby sitter. But back to what I am jamming right now. Esperanza Spalding is AMAZING and I had the pleasure of seeing her live in Prospect Park last summer. Hoping I can catch another concert and soon. You know who else I want to see in concert?? Gregory Porter. Are there any fellow music lovers out there?? Does anyone have something I need to get hip to?
Month: March 2016
This is Stupid
When you are single everyone is like “Hey have you tried this dating app??” or “Ohhh girl try this dating site. My friends grandmother daughters niece met her husband on this site”I don’t have luck on ANY of these damn things. The guys are either weird, super creepy or old enough to be my parent… HELL NO!!! I had a guy send me a message and he used NO punctuation anywhere in his email. All words were written in slang and it did NOTHING for me. One guy sent me a message and when I saw his picture… He had on more lipgloss than me. NEEEEEXXXXT!! I could go on and on and on about my dating website stories. I hate the process. Its like there is no such thing as meeting the good old fashioned way anymore. Instead of the creepy guy at the end of the bar giving you an exaggerated wink and the “call me” sign; It’s a creepy guy sending you a
“Hey how you doing” message while his profile pic is him with his hands behind his head, with his taco meat looking chest hair on display while wearing a crap ton of lipgloss and doing the duck lips. (Longest sentence EVER but everything written is TRUTH). Why is it so hard to meet the tall handsome guy, who has a job, works hard, loves God and his family, likes to run OCR and workout without being a total meat head, with dimples, a snarky sense of humor and a love for all things donuts and burgers?? (I know thats asking a lot)
One or the Other
As we all know… I am single. Duh the name of my blog says it all. I always wonder who I am going to end up with. Growing up my uncle always said “You are going to marry a white guy.” Really?!?!? Was it because I went to all white schools? Is it because I speak proper English? Im confused. Will a black man not love me as I am? Fill me in here. I am attracted to both black and white. My only thing is that if I do end up with a white guy will he fight for me and those like me? Will he stand up for what is right? If I feel the need to get out and march will he march with me? Will I have to look not as “ethnic” around certain groups of people?? If there is a “No” to any of the first three then he’s gotta keep it moving. If there is a “Yes” to the last question then he needs to keep it moving. With a black man I already know he will fight for me, march with me, and stand his ground for me. Im asking God “Who will it be?” and he is just like “Wait and see” Here is the deal: I am not good at waiting. Im getting better BUT I still have issues with it. I am learning to walk the path of the unknown. Even though I have been doing it for a while; its still hard to let go of control. God is working with me on that. ITS SOOOOOO HARD!!!! **face palm**
Do The Right Thing
Today was a really good day!!! I was even motivated to mosey on down to the house gym and get my workout on. SAY WHAT?!?!?! Oh and I lasted over 20 minutes on the treadmill. **fist pump** I had to do like 5 different things on the treadmill though to keep my attention with it. 5 minutes running at 5.0 speed and 2.5 incline, side gallops at 2.5 speed for 2 minutes each side. Then it was 5 minutes at 3.0 speed and 15.0 incline and the last of it was walking backwards at 2.5 speed at 2.5 incline. Doing all of this actually got me through an entire workout on a machine that I HATE!!! Today was also leg day which means Im going to be walking a little stiff tomorrow. I got all of that in and then did the right thing and instead of running to shake shack for my cheeseburger and cheese fries I went to CHOPT for a giant salad. I want to see how this goes body wise. See if I feel any better. I didn’t have sugar today which means my allergies didn’t kick my ass for once. SN: I’m allergic to sugar. Im not going to lie man, I really really REALLY wanted to go and get that slice of cheesecake BUT I didn’t (Just had them put EXTRA apples in my salad to give me the sweet kick).
I don’t really have body issues. I mean I have the regular issues like everyone else “Feeling pudgy” “OH MAH GAH I have dimples in my legs… oh well” ” Hold up… Do I have wings under my arms?!?!? Where the hell did they come from?!?!?!?!” See I have the regular issues like every one else. Today as I was leaving to get dinner I caught a side view of myself and I was like “Holy shit my legs are long” Second thought was “GAH the running tights do wonders for hiding my dimples. THANK YOU COMPRESSION PANTS” My third thought was ” I really have no ass… I guess God forgot to bless me with that like he forgot the dancing gene. Thats ok though.” **heavy sigh as I bust out in the running man and Roger Rabbit**
Word
How am I supposed to find stability in a world thats shaking….. Justin Tarsik
Gotta do Better
So today I woke up ON TIME. Made it to community group meeting… I ate an ENTIRE mini cheesecake but that’s not important. It was so good but let me get back on topic. After community group meeting, it was time for church. I love my church. I always feel God move when I go. I’m going to be totally honest. I HAVE BEEN LAZY in my spiritual walk lately. LA-ZY. I talk to er’body( yes I said Er’body) and everything and do anything and EVERYTHING but only give God a TINY portion of my time. It’s been quick prayers, no real meditating, no real seeking. I have just been going through the motions of life. I know thats what I have been doing and todays word TOTALLY confirmed that “You know dag gone well you have been lazy. You want this relationship with Me but you STOPPED seeking Me. Uhh you better do something about that.” Yes the Lord slapped me upside the head today and HARD. I can tell when I fall off too because my patience is short, attitude is BAD and I am tired and drained all the time. It also gave me a push in some other areas of my life:Diet, exercise, finances… ALL OF THAT. I will get it back together because its the only way to go and I don’t really have a choice. Wait… I do have a choice but I am going to pick the right one now. That was my lightbulb moment for the day.
What Had Happened Was…
You know when you go to sleep with goals??? “Im going to wake up and hit the gym. Better yet… I’m going to RUN to the gym and then get my full workout in.” “I’m going to do laundry and clean my room and finish crocheting this blanket.” “I am going to start journaling again and meditate. Hell I might even get back into yoga”
Now fast forward to waking up. “You know what… I’m just going to lay here. Nope not moving. I need coffee. Coffee is good. Wait that means I have to get up… never mind.” “I love my bed and it is totally loving me right now.” “I can run later today right?? Do I really need to do laundry?? Hmmmm maybe I should close my eyes, snuggle back in and really think about these life choices that are being forced on me right now.” I am really not about “productive life” right now. I AM about the “stay in bed all day, snuggled in my blankets and pillows while watching Netflix and thinking of ordering breakfast takeout” kind of life at the moment and it sounds pretty damn good if you ask me.
I had goals and then what had happened was… I kind of changed them at the last minute. It happens **snuggles back into blankets with a heavy happy sigh**
I DID THAT
For the past two weekends I have been racing. I ran warrior dash weekend before last and this past weekend I ran my first Spartan race of the season. Both races were AWESOME!!! Warrior dash was great because I ran with my childhood friend. She’s wanting to get into OCR and asked me to run with her. Like I can say no to that. DUDE BRING ON THE MUD!!!! We drove to Austin and had a blast!!!
This past weekend I flew to Houston to race by myself. You guys I can’t even describe how awesome this experience was. I accomplished the unthinkable in my athletic world… I didn’t place dead last like I normally do. I actually placed pretty well for someone of my slacker workout standards. HA!!! 33 out of 138 women in my age group. I ranked 143 out of all 757 females and placed 743 out of over 2000 people. Now I know that is not elite standards by any means but this is GOLD for me. This course was awful and fun all at the same time. There was horse shit EVERYWHERE, mud was like quicksand, and it was just crazy gross but I LOVED every minute of it. I overcame so many things that used to give me trouble. This was the best race of my LIFE!!! The sense of accomplishment was UNREAL!!! I did ROPE climb y’all. 12 or so races and that rope has kicked my ass every time. Last weekend I gave that rope the middle finger, made my way up and rang that bell! I did Hercules hoist… almost by myself. I got the sandbag half way up before I got some help. I normally can’t get it off the ground. I did atlas carry with no help. I nailed the monkey bars. I made it up every wall (had help on a few) I only missed spear throw and the rig. I DONT CARE THOUGH because I accomplished so much in those 2 hours. Everyone was like “Did you go out?? Did you celebrate?” Uhhh no I went to my room and ate my Frenchy’s chicken, showered and washed my gear, went downstairs for a drink, and then was sleep before 6p. It was just supposed to be a nap… Slept a full 13 hours!!! HA!! Look at the pictures you guys… Can you blame me?!?!?!?!
Sunday rolls around and I get to spend time with my beautiful awesome cousins!!! So much fun and laugher. My body is still hurting and I just want to sleep this upcoming weekend away. I have plans for Saturday morning and then its back to bed I go!!! YES LAWD!! I was never really a sporty child. When I tried I just ended up being horrible and uncoordinated at everything…except for gymnastics. At 34 I have found a sport that I really do enjoy. I am not out there competing with anyone but myself. I am out there because regular running is the most boring thing in the world for my ADD. This keeps my attention and challenges me on a whole other level. For those who said I couldn’t, all I have to say is this : WATCH ME!!!
Oh Mah Gah
Now I don’t get sick often. I have my regular allergy problems but who doesn’t. I have never had the flu. If I catch colds they don’t last long. When I do get sick though… Its like DEATH!!! I have caught a few viruses here and there and they damn near take me out!!! Something else that I don’t get all the time: Headaches. I can’t tell you the last time I had a crazy headache… Wait yes I can. It was like 2 years ago and it was because I was having caffeine withdrawal. ANYWAY… Today was the day that I had a WICKED headache. I mean it was so bad that I thought I was going to pass out or throw up in the middle of Whole Foods!!! My head was pounding and my stomach was churning and I started getting light headed. All I could do was bend over my shopping cart and pray… and take deep breaths. He was looking out because I didnt get sick, pass out, or die but MAN it was like tiny river dance people were having a show down in my skull. The slightest movement had me clutching my head with both hands. Aspirin didnt work, Aleve took FOREVER. My mood was foul and I just felt like cow poop today. The headache has slowly gone away and now Im starving but too lazy to get up. My body just wants to sleep but my stomach is saying “FEED ME HEFFA” I guess its apples and peanut butter kind of night.
Im Ready
This past weekend I had the awesome pleasure of running Warrior Dash with my childhood friend. We drove from Dallas to Austin and IT.WAS.AWESOME!!! We laughed, car danced (Will explain later), ate, raced, got dirty, laughed some more, and continued to laugh. The race was almost 4 miles and it was AMAZING!! It was like old times!!! Warrior Dash wasn’t hard but it was crap tons of fun!!! I have another race this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited to get my ass kicked. Spartan Races attract a special kind of crazy. We look forward to the torture, cuss the entire time we are running because it SUCKS and then when we jump over that fire pit we try to hurry to find the next race. It takes a special kind of stupid to keep doing this. Whats crazy is that I look forward to the sore muscles and bruises. They are like badges of honor. After every race I look like Holyfield beat the crap out of me in the boxing ring. For some reason we look forward to this shit! Who’d does that?? I told you we were a special kind of crazy. Lets pray that all goes well.
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